Two Ghosts

Chapter 17

Santana's heart thuds hard in her chest because even though it's something they used to do all the time, they haven't slept together under the same roof in years. Not that they'd be sleeping together together but just knowing that Brittany's going to be there all night has Santana's head spinning and this time she doesn't think it has anything to do with alcohol. She wants to play it cool, but she would be lying if she didn't feel a flood of emotions.

"So." Brittany sighs as she begins to look unsure again.

"So." Santana mimics, watching Brittany's facial expression shift, "You aren't thinking about sleeping in your car, are you?"

"I-I don't want to make things weird." Brittany admits and Santana picks up on the use of that word once again.

"You aren't," Santana assures her then asks, "What's weird about sleeping off a buzz in a nice warm house?"

"Nothing," Brittany says then let's out a sigh, "But I'm sleeping it off here, in my ex-girlfriend's childhood home."

Santana stiffens at her former title and braces herself for everything to come crashing down.

"There's just...so much history here," Brittany glances around the room looking forelorn and adds, "The number of times we were nearly caught making out on this couch when we were supposed to be doing homework, all the mornings we spent dancing in the kitchen while we made breakfast after a sleepover even though you're not really a breakfast person, so many nights I'd sneak into your room through your window just because you missed me too much, how beautiful you looked coming down those stairs in your prom dress and how your mom wouldn't stop taking pictures of us until we were pulling out of your driveway. It's a lot, Santana."

Santana's breath is caught in her throat because she really wasn't expecting Brittany to say all of that and she kind of wishes now that she drained her wine glass or drank way more than she did to ease whatever this is turning into. She's not nearly as drunk for this kind of conversation, especially with the feelings she's been trying to wrangle all night.

Brittany sighs again and she tucks her hair behind her ear, her arms crossing her chest protectively, "I know it's not just me that feels it. You think about it all too, I can see it."

Santana's brows furrow as she tries to lie, "I-I don't know what you're talking about."

Brittany smirks, "I think you forget how much I know you, Santana." Then her smirk fades into something more serious, "We've got a lot of history, we both know that, but I guess what I struggle with most, and I think you might too, is what am I supposed to do with all that history? I know I said we should start over, but it's hard. Am I supposed to just forget about it all? We've grown in the past five years and some things have changed, but some things really haven't. You're still the same Santana to me. So do I pretend like I don't know you like I do? It's tricky and I don't know really know what to do."

Brittany looks to Santana like she's searching for the answer, but Santana still struggles with it all herself. How is she meant to help when she hasn't figure out how to move on from it all either? She doesn't know what to say, it's not some simple fix.

"You can stay the night," Santana finally says and watches Brittany soften, "I know that's not the answer you're looking for, but I-I don't know what to say. You're right, we have history but I just- I don't know. I can only think about right now." Santana pauses and takes a steadying breath, "And right now, all I know is that it's too cold outside for you to try and sleep in your car. We're friends so what kind of friend would I be if I let you do that? Besides, my mom's right. We have a guest room or the couch so why not at least be comfortable?"