Two Ghosts

Chapter 15

Brittany doesn't actually stay very long once they get the remainder of the groceries inside onto the kitchen island. She tells Santana that she needs to head home to get the couple of bottles of wine she was saving for a special occasion. Santana tells her that she shouldn't waste the bottles on their silly little dinner but Brittany insists it wouldn't be a waste and she rather share with them than drink alone like she had planned. There's not much room for Santana to argue when Brittany teases her for worrying she won't come back.

"I won't be long," Brittany assures her through a smirk.

Santana rolls her eyes at her playful tone, but it all feels so familiar. She never pegged herself as the clingy type, but when she was with Brittany it was different. She couldn't get enough of her and when they were apart it felt like ages and everything just felt off. When they began doing long distance while Santana was in Louisville, Santana would come up with the most off the wall excuses to return home or get Brittany to come visit because she really only felt like she was her true self when Brittany was around.

She had to recreate that feeling over the years, learn how to be herself without needing Brittany, but she never really got it just right.

So when Santana finds herself falling into the same pit of emotions, she reminds herself that this is exactly why she was so hesitant bringing Brittany around for Thanksgiving, and tries hard to shake them loose.

Before Brittany leaves, she lets Maribel know that she'll return in a bit and to make sure Maribel saves some prep work for her when she gets back. Maribel agrees and Santana catches the pleased smile her mom gives Brittany. She smiles too, but there is a faint pang of regret in the pit of her stomach because this isn't how she pictured spending Thanksgiving years ago.

By now, she and Brittany should've been living in their own place somewhere glamorous. Well, as glamorous as they could afford. They'd fall asleep together every night and wake up together every morning. They'd pay bills together and work out grocery lists. They'd have a cat that Brittany would end up talking Santana into getting. They'd cuddle up on rainy Sunday afternoons and watch movies all day and make love on the living room floor. They'd host dinner parties with their friends and family and Santana would spend way too much on holiday decorations but Brittany wouldn't complain because she loved how Santana would light up under the glow of fairy lights. Santana would've put a gleaming ring on Brittany's finger and they'd be happy and so in love.

But where Brittany and Santana are now is far from what Santana had imagined and it kind of hurts.

"Did you need me to pick up anything else while I'm out?" Brittany asks and it's an open offer as she glances between Maribel and Santana who looms in the doorway.

"I think I've got everything now. Thank you, Brittany," Maribel says as she takes the thawed turkey out of the bucket, "Ah, it worked!"

Santana chuckles at Maribel's delight but then her eyes focus on Brittany walking towards her.

"And anything for you?" Brittany asks, chomping down on a stick of celery she must've snuck from the counter.

Santana shakes her head, "Not that I can think. Thanks though."

Brittany just winks before passing Santana and heading for the door. She keeps the celery stick between her teeth as she pulls her boots on and Santana can't help but watch intently.

Brittany catches her staring as she pulls on the second shoe. She sits up, taking the celery stick from her lips and giving it another chomp, before smiling and getting up to leave.

"I'll see you guys in a bit!" Brittany calls over her shoulder and gives Santana one last grin before closing the door behind her.

Santana just lets out all the air in her lungs she hadn't realized she was holding there.