Kakashi x Reader II

Chapter 4

Today I offer you low-res Kakashi, tomorrow who knows

Over forty. That was the number of birds that had flown over my window. Okay, I didn't actually count them, but they could have as well been that many. It wasn't that there was any nest nearby or anything, it just was because I had been for so long in bed, slowly waking up.

It lately took me a lot to wake up. To have the will of getting up and going through the day. Through another day without Kakashi. It was really difficult to wake up to an empty bed, day after day.

It had been quite some time since he left. I honestly rather not count it. I used to at the beginning, but it made me more anxious, it made me be more conscious about the time. So I stopped. But I knew it must have been a lot, perhaps a month and a half. And I knew because there weren't any marks on me left from our last night together. I tried to remember it recurrently, to not forget about his handsome face and gentle touch. So even if the scratches and love-bites he left over all of my body were all gone, I still remembered him. But above that, I knew it must have been a lot of time because the house and his clothes didn't smell like him anymore. Only a few inside his closet that I didn't dare to touch, only sniff from time to time whenever I felt more depressed, which lately had been rather frequently.

But anyway, I inhaled hard, trying to get rid of those clinging dark thoughts, and picked up my outfit for the day. Tsunade had given me some time off. Well, she had forced me to take some days off because I had been trying to get my mind off with missions and had barely stopped for a couple of minutes.

I dressed up and got out of the room to the kitchen. I was supposed to meet with Kiba to eat at Icharaku, and maybe it was already a little too late to eat breakfast. So I opened the fridge and stared at my possibilities. But my chest became heavy as I felt my eyes began to sting. "I miss Kakashi" I thought for the who-knows-th time.

I missed him so much... He always used to make breakfast, so now that he was gone I had lost the appetite for breakfast. And it wasn't only that I missed his cooking, what I missed the most was walking to the kitchen with him smiling softly at me. With one of those smiles and 'good mornings' that made me warm-up.

I sniffled and wiped a few tears that had slipped. 'What the fuck (Y/n) you weak bitch' I said to myself, frowning and getting a miserable apple because if I didn't eat it soon it would end up rotting in my fridge.

I slapped myself and decided to leave my home for a walk to clear my mind. But again, my chest became heavy again when I realized how much time it had been since I walked these streets with Kakashi. 'What if I never walked with him again? What if the last time I kissed him was the actual last time I would kiss him?' I thought, starting to feel how my breaths turned to be faster in anxiety 'What if I wasn't able to hold his soft and big hand ever again?'.

I swallowed hard, trying to also swallow the threatening tears. '(Y/n), stop...' I said to myself once more. Angry to myself because of how emotional I had been lately. Extremely emotional. And not even in a pessimistic way like I was being right now. Like, the other day I saw a young boy helping an old lady with her shopping bags and I almost began tearing up from how adorable it was. Or like the other day when I felt devastated and heartbroken when I couldn't find my favorite snack at the grocery store, and once home I began crying, and immediately after I felt ashamed for such stupid behavior. 'All I need is my period to come once and for all and I'll stop being emotional' I told to myself so I would stop racking my mind with that.

"(Y/n)! About time you arrived!" Kiba yelled once he saw me appear down the street.

I looked at him and then realized I had been dozing off to the point of actually losing track of time. I smiled sheepishly as I rubbed the back of my neck and apologized. He sighed closing his eyes, and it was then, once I was by his side, that I realized how big he had gotten as he was now around my height, maybe even taller than me.

I smiled softly, and as I started becoming emotional again I blinked twice and stepped inside Icharaku, Kiba following behind. We both sat down and he began rambling about the missions he had been going with enthusiasm. It was clear he was no longer that little kid I knew because the way he explained things wasn't as childish anymore. But to me, he would still be that little kid.

When he stopped explaining I smiled and ruffled his hair, earning a blush from him as he scowled.

"You've become such a great jonin and handsome man" I said with a smile, but he gently slapped my hand away with a frown and reddened cheeks.

"(Y/n), I'm not a kid anymore..." he complained, making me laugh some more "Today I talked with Tsunade because of my next mission" he said as we went back to slurping our noodles "She's told me about you. You should take it easy, (Y/n)" he lectured me.

"Not you too..." I rolled my eyes "I am on my days off, aren't I?" I huffed "What am I supposed to do anyway? Sit around and do nothing? I want to exercise, release tension with training. I need to move damn it. And I like doing missions, there's no wrong in that"

"(Y/n), your last team was afraid of you because of how you acted" he said, making me roll my eyes again "You didn't want to stop to rest and were annoyed when you had to. You acted carelessly to the enemies, you–"

"Wow, Kiba. I didn't know you had become the Hokage" I said bitterly "Lady Tsunade already told me off, okay?" I added, becoming extremely annoyed and clearly not wanting to keep talking about this.

Kiba held his stare on me for a couple of seconds without saying anything. That only made me frown in anger some more because I knew he was judging me. I knew he probably thought I had been acting like that because Kakashi wasn't here, which would make me weak. And although it was true, it still annoyed me that he or the rest of the people thought that of me. But Kiba must have realized because he let it go. He turned around and resumed his meal.

"I heard Jiraiya's coming back" he said, probably expecting for my mood to lighten up.

And surprisingly, it did its job quite well. I smiled in excitement as we kept talking as if nothing had happened.

After eating with Kiba he left. He said he had to meet with someone who he didn't want to tell me. Well, he actually fled before telling me who he was seeing. I hesitated for a moment with a sly grin. Should I follow him and see who he's going to be with? Which most likely would be someone he had some type of romantic interest in? Well, I at least figured that much because why else would he be embarrassed by that? But in the end, I decided to let him be and respect his privacy. At least for a little more while I could use this new information to tease him and pry for answers.

I went to the bookstore, but there weren't any interesting new books. At least not in the sci-fi, mystery, or romance sections. So I decided to go to the adult section, again feeling weird and depressed because of the dates Kakashi and I would regularly have to the bookstore, and that now we didn't anymore. It felt really weird to be in that place alone... So I thought that maybe some porn might make me forget about it.

I left the two bags on the counter of the kitchen. First I took the take-out that would be my dinner because I wasn't feeling like cooking and because I was craving more of a comfort food than healthy food. And then I took my new adult book. It wasn't an Icha Icha, but it definitely looked good.

My curiosity took the best of me and I began inspecting the first pages of my new book as I leaned against the counter, my lips immediately curving into a smile as I reached to the explicit action. I bit my lip but stopped when I felt I was getting wet. I left the book over the counter and left for the bathroom, hoping that it was my late period. And if it wasn't I was definitely going to take advantage of my new acquisition. And lucky me, it wasn't my period, it just was wetness from how horny I had been lately and the book had made me.