Kakashi x Reader II

Chapter 7

I stared at the ceiling, both of my hands laying softly on my tummy as I laid on the couch, thinking about too many things. I just left the hospital a couple of hours ago, and I have to admit, I should have gone earlier... Even though the day I found out Jiraiya advised me to go to the doctor, I refused. I was scared, and it was stupid from me. But I was terrified of hearing the words "You are indeed pregnant" or "Congratulations on your pregnancy". I was horrified of people knowing about it, even if the secrecy of patients existed. It still made me anxious the mere thought of having to be checked up. But after a couple of days, Jiraiya finally convinced me.

I felt my heart racing up again, my throat closing, and tears starting to well up in my eyes again. But I closed them and tried to calm down. Luckily, I wasn't freaking out like the first day. Well, I was, but I managed to keep my cool at least while there were other people around me, even Jiraiya. But then when I was alone again all the worries came back, making my heart race and have cold sweat.

I still didn't know what to do. The doctor said I could abort as long as I was on the first three months, so I still had some time to think about it. But 'some' was actually little time, especially when she said that the longer I waited the more dangerous it'd be for me. But should I abort? It felt wrong, aborting without Kakashi even knowing... He at least deserved to know, but when would he come back? Do I wait for him to come back? And then, what if he comes when the baby's already born? 'He probably won't want it. And he'll most likely hate me... Just imagine getting back to your girlfriend with a baby you didn't even know you had...' My nose began to feel fuzzy again, letting me know I'd cry if I kept thinking those things. 'I'd hate me too, for being such a fucking idiot to have fallen pregnant' I couldn't control my thoughts. 'So what? Do I abort then?' Do I even really wanted to abort this child? A small Kakashi I was bearing inside?

Some tears managed to escape, sliding down my cheeks that had been red and swollen for the past days despite the make-up I tried to apply in vain. And with those thoughts of indecision and silent tears, I ended up falling asleep on the couch.

There was a warm hand stroking my hair. A deep voice that I loved in so many ways, talking to me. Lulling me to sleep as he whispered sweet nothings. And as he said them, I felt his chest, his warm and toned chest under me vibrate, move up and down as he breathed. His fingers so carefully and lovingly running caresses on my hair, my cheek, and neck. 'I'm dreaming' I thought, knowing quite well that I was having one of those recurrent dreams of Kakashi never having gone away.

I knew it was a dream, but it was a dream I didn't want to wake up from. So I snuggled closer to the body I missed so much. He quickly responded to my cuddles, tightening his hug around me as he kept talking to me. And then I sniffed his scent, not being able to let a tear run down my cheek at the memory. Then I felt something in my back, a book the Kakashi in my dream was holding. He let it on top of my back and moved the hand that had been previously holding it to my cheek in order to wipe the running tears.

I loved this dream. How it felt to have Kakashi again with me, to feel him again. But I also hated it, it made my heart twist and turn as if my subconscious kept thinking about the worries I had even asleep. I hated it because it made me remember that I'd have to tell Kakashi that I was pregnant. I hated it because it scared me that we would never be able to be like that after he knew. So I decided I wanted to wake up and leave from this dream that had begun to hurt like it should never hurt to dream of Kakashi.

I opened my eyes slowly, and I realize that I had been shedding tears in real life as well from the dream. But as another tear slipped, a thumb quickly smeared it. My eyes widened for a second, I was awake. But I wasn't alone. I looked up, and the moment I was met with my silver-haired boyfriend's bare face my eyes began to shed tears faster. He was looking at me tenderly, but as soon as he realized my panicked state he frowned slightly worried as his hands kept trying to stop my tears by continuously cupping my swollen cheeks.