The delicate man that capCURED my heart

16 : WASTED

KREIA'S POV

As the days and months passed by, I was still confused of what was Justin doing. You know, being together as always? Araw-araw akong hinihintay sa parking bago pumasok, tuwing uwian ay sabay din kami kung umuwi, palaging sabay kung mag lunch, even in our free time lagi kaming magkasama. Tatambay sa library, minsan sa field at minsan naman sa audi kapag walang tao. Ginagawa mga school works namin o di kaya'y magku-kwentuhan ng kung ano-anong bagay. Gav and Qwyn was also with us sometimes, pero madalas talaga na kaming dalawa lang ni Justin ang magkasama.

Ewan ko ba, noon naman gustong-gusto kong kasama palagi si Justin. Ngayon naman na siya na yung gumagawa ng paraan para magsama kami ay tila nangunguwestyon ako. Like, I was doubting everything. Kasi naman diba? He's not like this before, ngayon lang. But I wasn't complaining naman, I was happy pa nga e. But yet confusion is arousing in my system.

Until one day, I had an urged to ask him again why do he always do such things to me that's making me confused all the time. The question that changed everything, tanong na sana hindi ko na lang ipinagpilitan na sagutin niya. Sana pala hindi ko na lang inalam.

"Qwyn nakita mo ba si Jah?" I asked her as our 1st sub in the afternoon started. Kanina ko pa kasi hindi mahagilap si Justin, hinintay niya nga ako kaninang umaga sa parking pero pagka-hatid niya sa akin dito sa room ay agad naman siyang umalis at hindi na muli pang bumalik.

"Hindi" she answered and darted her gaze in front where the prof is busy lecturing. I sighed, saan naman kaya pupunta 'yon?

"Kanina ka pa nagbu-buntong hininga dyan, ano bang problema mo?" Gav whispered through my ears. I just shake my head and just focused on the class.

Soon as the class ended, tumayo ako agad para lisanin ang room at hanapin siya. Pero isang hakbang pa lang ang nagagawa ko palabas ng room ay natigilan ako agad. There he is, leaning his back on the wall beside the room's door. Ang isang paa ay nakaangat din at nakadikit sa pader. Looking cool while his hands are inside his pockets.

"Jah..." I uttered. I wanted to ask him where the hell did he go all day and why did he skipped classes pero hindi na ako nag-abala pa dahil nakikita ko sa mukha niyang pagod siya. Ano naman kaya ang ginawa niya?

"Uuwi ka na? Hatid na kita sa parking" sabi niya at nanguna nang maglakad paalis, bumuntot naman agad ako.

Soon as we reached the parking, I paused a bit and called him that made him also stopped and turned his gaze on me.

"Why?" I asked, confused as fuck!

"What why?" he asked back, tiredness was very evident in his eyes as if he's tired of hearing my questions everytime I asked him about this.

"Why do you have to do this?"

"Do what?" he scoffed.

"This!... Don't act like you don't know what I'm asking Jah" I answered, trying to calm myself. May mali na kasi talaga e, parang ginagawa niya to kasi he was obliged to do so. Hindi ko naman hiniling sakanya na gawin niya 'to diba? Yet I'm also happy that he is being like this to me but it's just...Like something's wrong happening. Na parang pilit lang, pilit niyang ginagawa kasi pinipilit siya or what. I don't know!

"Then stop also acting like you don't know all about this shits!" he angrily said  that made me shocked the hell out. Just what the fuck does he mean? Bakit parang kasalanan ko pa?

"I-I don't know what you're saying" I stuttered, my heart was pounding so fast. I tried to calm myself again and look thoroughly in his dark eyes now, anger is very visible on it.

"Look, if you do not want to do this for the very first place then stop! Kung napipilitan ka lang na gawin to parang-awa mo na Jah huminto ka na! Kasi nabibigyan ko na ng ibang kahulugan e!" I said, almost shouting. Tears are already pooling in my eyes but I tried not to tear up in front of him.

"But I have to!" he uttered then looked away. Damn it!

"Bakit nga kasi?!" I asked again for the nth time! Still surpressing my tears not to stream down on my cheeks.

"Bakit mo pa tinatanong kung alam mo naman na?" naiirita niya ng tanong. But it just made me quiet for a while, thinking what was it all along. Pero wala pa rin akong alam sa mga pinagsasabi niya. Bakit parang sinisisi niya lahat sa akin e, hindi ko nga ni minsan hiniling sakanya na maging ganito siya kasi ako yung laging nakadikit sakanya?

"Gusto mo naman e, gusto mo namang lagi akong nakadikit sayo diba? Ngayon bakit nagrereklamo ka na?" he said sarcastically.

Fuck. That hurts my ego. That's it!

My tears began to stream down my cheeks. I was left dumbfounded, lost of words! Nothing to say because that's too painful to handle. I felt a lethal pain in my chest. Ang sakit lang dahil sakanya mismo nanggaling 'yon pero totoo naman e. In the very first place, it was me that wants him beside me everytime. It was me that always clinging into him, It was me that was madly inlove with him! It was me!

I tried to stiffle my sobs as he turned his back on me and walked away. I regreted doing this, sana pala hindi ko na tinanong. I messed everything now!--No. I am the mess that he keeps on carrying like a burden. Pabigat sa buhay niya.

I gripped on my chest because of the pain I am feeling right now. My knees were also became weak as if I will lost my balance at any time. Kinalma kong muli ang sarili ko at hinanap sa loob ng bag ang susi ng kotse ko pero lumalabo na ang mga mata ko dahil na rin sa kakaiyak. Until I already lost my balance and fell not on the floor but in a masculine arm that saved me from falling.

He then carresed my cheeks and wiped away my tears. And in an instant, he embraced me within his arms. That's when I familiarized his manly-scent. Mas lalo lang akong humagulhol sa dibdib niya. I hugged him back and cried and cried until there's no tears left to cry.

"Ganun na ba ako ka-landi Gav?" I asked and chuckled on his chest. What's with that question self? I just laughed at my own thought.

"Shh. Don't say that!" he said while caressing my hair. Honestly, I felt comfort in his arms.

"Are you free tonight?" I asked him and let go from the hug. I then faced him and flashed a sweet smile as if I'm not in pain. Trying hard to cover up my true feelings right now.

"Let's get wasted! Nomi tayo!" dagdag ko pa pero nagtaka lang siya sa sinabi ko.

"Nomi?" he asked with brows furrowed. I laughed at his reaction, what a cute innocent guy!

"Inom! Let's drink til we get wasted tonight!" and with that I dragged him inside my car and let him drive my car.

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