To Love Me| Tom Holland x Male Reader

13

Listening to Beyoncé songs. I come across the one song I'd been avoiding.

The only reason I'd been avoiding it was because of the title and what it told.

Pretty Hurts

I finish listening to Blow. I tap on it, I watch Beyoncé fight over a hairdryer at Beauty Pageant.

Timeskip

After the song, I think about what Beyoncé just belted into my ears.

Why?

Why?

Why?

Why did no one tell me I'd fall in love with someone I can't even date.

Why?

Why did no tell me he'd somehow blush over jokes about us being together.

Why did the doubts fill me whenever I'd look in the mirror thinking I'd never look good enough for Fame, Acting.

Now I just want someone To Love Me and tell me I am.

Make feel I am.

Just?

Why?

I take out my earbuds and hide under the cover away from the shame I never told myself to not listen to myself for one.

A few minutes later

I hope Tom didn't see or hear me crying, under the covers but I mean it wouldn't be so bad.

At least he might comfort me.

What is wrong with me?

I get up and go to the bathroom to wash my face to remove the marks of tears and puffiness.

Washing it off I look into the mirror.

Looking into my own eyes I see what Tom probably sees. A E/C eyed, flawless skinned boy.

Of course, he'd see me as perfection he probably likes me.

I-I don't what to do anymore, what?

Make a move? He's 23.

Can't I wait? Clearly not.

Okay. Breathe, Breathe.

Okay, so I guess make move.

That's calm.

Now I won't do anything stupid, just watch some Meme Time with Jacksepticeye.

Timeskip

Trying to sleep I keep tossing and turning, with my brain being no help.

Why can't I get it out of my head? Just stop brain for once. Stop.

I toss to my right side once more and feel another one creeping up on me.

Having had enough I get up and sit upright. Breathing in and out so I don't tense up talking to him.

He isn't gonna skin you for talking him now, he's probably awake in this heat and I mean he's been a bit irritated and agitated during the day.

But I mean would he shout at me? Probably not.

I get up and start walking out my room too his, I stand on the out my hands on the door frame.

"Hey, Tom," I ask quietly in a slow whisper.

He looks like I picture I'd seen about a Monday Mood Joke.

So grumpy and cute. Tried to cheer him up but didn't seem to work then Pretty Hurts happened.

"Hey, Y/N" Tom replies similarly to me.

I start to walk towards his bed, I stop looking at his eyes hopefully, "Can I- I can't sleep so I came to check on you."

"It's fine, I can't sleep either, c'mon let's talk for a bit," Tom says putting his on a free spot next to him.

I take the free spot next to him and surprise him by getting closer to him.

"Why can't you sleep?"

"I don't know just so much is going in my head and it won't stop," I answer and Tom pouts, matching his eyes with mine.

"You?"

"I don't know, just the Internet and life I guess," Tom dumbfoundedly responds to me speeding the conversation up.

"Okay,"

"You can sleep with me-. In my bed-. Nothing Extra though," Tom says repeating and attempting to hide he wants to cuddle with me.

"Tom, it's fine I guess," I accept, calming him.

"It could help I guess. Having someone else here," Tom suggests taking my shakiness in my voice seriously.

"I mean everyone says it does. It just runs around so much it's meant to tire me but isn't." I express that my mind won't stop racing.

"Okay, you take that side I'll take this one," He claims his side, shuffling over, removing the feel of his body heat warming me.

I slip under the covers focusing on Tom, as my head slows down.

This just Platonic nothing special he's just trying to help.

Why Does It Have To Be Platonic?