Kahit Kunwari

24

"Grae!" I heard Caleb's calling me. I didn't bother to look back. Natigil ako sa mabilis na paglalakad nang hawakan niya ako sa braso.

Galit ko siyang binalingan. I need to go! What the hell?

"Let go of me." Mariin kong sabi sa kanya.

"Ej won't fail. I'll make sure of that. You don't have to worry." Aniya at hindi pa rin ako binibitawan.

I don't have to worry? Sino ba ang niloloko ko kung sasabihin kong hindi ako ang may kasalanan sa lahat ng nangyayari?

Sa sobrang dami ng mga nangyari,hindi ko maitatangging nagkulang ako sa relasyon naming dalawa ni Ej. Hindi ko naman ginusto pero nasasaktan ako sa lahat ng mga nangyayari ngayon. Can't I just rest? 

"I'll get you home, let's go." Caleb grabbed the grocery stuffs on my hand. I felt so weak to even protest not to go with him. I can go home alone!

Matapos niyang kuhanin ang mga bitbit ko ay nauna na siyang maglakad. I had no choice but to follow him. Pagkarating ng parking lot ay agad niyang nilagay sa backseat ang mga pinamili ko. He opened the front seat's door and waited for me to go in.

Malungkot akong tumingin sa kanya at hindi gumalaw. He left the door open and went closer to me. 

"Please, Grae? Trust Ej, he won't do anything reckless.He knows what he's doing. He won't fail you." I already did Caleb. I already failed him.

Umupo ako sa sa front seat, ang mga paa ko ay nasa labas. Parang ayoko muna pumasok sa trabaho? Good thing Greianne is there, may magbabantay kay Mama. I feel the want to give up. Everything's just so fvcked up.  It's like everything that is happening right now forces me to do something that I know will help Ej and I.

I just received a message from Ej this morning. After that, wala na. Sumandal si Caleb sa sasakyan niya. We were just staring at nowhere. I just need to breathe. 

"Hindi niyo sinabi sa akin, pero hindi ko rin inalam." Ako habang malungkot na nakangiti. 

Caleb didn't glance at me. He was just standing there listening to my sentiments. 

"Jayce didn't want us to give you more than your loads right now. I wanted to help but he shut me down." Aniya habang ang mga kamay ay nasa bulsa at nakatingin sa malayo. 

Walang Caleb, Ronnie, Dave at Gio ang sumubok na kausapin ako. Talking to me doesn't mean that they will add to my loads. I needed them.

"I want to help, nang malaman ko kung anong nangyari, I almost ran to your house." Patuloy niya. Napatingin ako sa kanya. Still, he's not looking at me. 

I heard him heaved a deep sigh. 

"Pero Grae, anong karapatan ko? I am just a friend, and the boyfriend didn't want us to come in the way."

"I saw how Jayce struggled, and I said to myself that I will help you by helping Jayce." Malungkot siyang ngumiti sa akin.

"I promised myself that I will never hurt you in any possible way. Never, Grae. So if Jayce wants me to distance myself to you, I will obliged because he has all the rights." Patuloy niya.