Kahit Kunwari

27

I ran outside not minding the crowd of the people who's also having their way out of the concert hall.

Closure. I need the closure. We both need it. I don't want to prolong this pain anymore. Maybe God wanted us to meet tonight. Maybe this is the sign I've been wanting all along. I want to move forward. I want to ask for his forgiveness so that I can finally forgive myself.

Sa dami ng tao, para akong tanga na lingon nang lingon kung saan saan. There are too many people. Some are still taking pictures. Mas nahirapan akong hanapin si Ej.  I ran towards the parking lot. Surely he brought his car. Mas konti ang tao sa parking lot kaya naman mas madali kong sinuyod ang lugar. I ran when I saw Ej closing the front seat's door. Bago pa man makasakay sa sasakyan si Ej, I grabbed his arm.

Gulat siyang napalingon sa akin. I saw his girl on the front seat waiting for him to get inside the car. Agad akong napahiya nang tanggalin ni Ej ang kamay ko sa braso niya. I took a step backward.

I inhaled and exhaled. My heart's beating so fast, so loud that I feel like it's going to burst any moment from now. He faced me, still his hands on the door of the car.

"C-can we talk?" I asked nervously. I don't have plan on ruining them. I just want to talk, that's all. I hurt this man years ago, ano pang karapatan ko para kunin siya sa nagpapasaya sa kanya ngayon. I am now just a part of a happy but painful memory for him.

He didn't say anything. He closed the door and walked to the other side of the car. He opened the front seat's door and talked to the girl inside. He kissed the girl on her forehead. Nakita kong kumunot ang noo niya nang makita ako. But later on, she smiled genuinely at me. I felt an excruciating pain inside of me. I returned her smile. She looks so kind and lovely.

Ej initiated the walk, lumayo lang kami kaunti sa kotse niya. He waited for the few people to leave so I did the same.

"She wants to give us privacy. I asked her to be with us so that she can hear everything that we'll talk about. I don't want her to think of anything that might hurt her." He said now looking at me.

I smiled, still the Ej I know. I remembered how he commented on Peter Kavinsky before. He will never give her current girlfriend the benefit of the doubt. I smiled sadly at that.

"Thank you for letting us talk. Sorry, this won't take long." I assured him.

"It's been a while? Um, you look good." Damn what a way of starting the conversation Graenielle Kim?

"Yeah, you too. You look good, Grae." He smiled at me. No, I am not good, hell but I wasn't good these past years.

"Fan ka na ng opm artists?" Tanong ko dahil mas gusto niya noon pa ang international singers.

Umiling siya. He put his hands inside his pockets. He's wearing a denim jacket with a white shirt underneath it. He gave me a small smile.

"Si Denise, fan din gaya mo." Aniya.

Denise, what a lovely name. It suits her. I felt a lump in my throat. She's also a fan, like me. That gave me another heartache. I don't know why.

"How are you?" I asked him.

Tumingin muna siya sa sasakyan niya, tiningnan ang girlfriend niya. He licked his lip before returning his gaze at me.