Anything To Stay With You (Editing)

I can't

Trigger warning: This chapter contains details about suicide, suicidial thoughts, and self harm. This chapter may bother some readers. If you would like a summary of the chapter please leave a comment.

Ford's POV

"Stan, I'm beginning to have second thoughts about tomorrow's mission. Mabel is obviously not in the right state of mind to kill him" I said.

Ford looked over at his brother. He couldn't see much if him from the light that was coming from the oil lamps, but he could make out a worried expression masked across his face that he was failing to hide.

"She keeps having those god awful nightmares, screaming every time she has them. And she claims that Bill is speaking telling her that she's going to fail and die in her head. I think she's gone crazy." Ford continued.

"The kid's just nervous, hell, I'd be terrified to murder something if I were as innocent as her." Stan replied, not believing half of what he said.

I pressed his elbow onto the wall, his forehead in his palm. I know that Isn't the reason why. Mabel has been slowly going slightly crazy over the past few months after seeing Dipper Holding Bill in his arms, acting like he was in love with him.

Just seeing that scene made Mabel snap and lose something inside. I knew it, but I wasn't quite sure what had snapped, and if it could even fit back together.

"Maybe I should Kill him. Or someone else other than Mabel, there's no way she'll ever be able to do this." I mumbled.

"Give the kid a break, she can do it. She has to do it, it'll be the only way for her to stop having all these nightmares once she sees that she can control it." Stan insisted.

"I'm not too sure anymore. These past five years have been messing with us for too long. Who knows what we're even capable of anymore." Ford sighed.

Neither of them said anything as they turned off the lamp and lied in their sleeping spaces, allowing their thoughts to deepen and consume the optimism they barely had to begin with about tomorrow.

Third POV

Mabel rocked back and forth slowly on her bed in the room that she shared with the girls. She refused to sleep. Every time she closed her eyes, she'd dream something happy and beautiful, before it all blurred and the nightmare came back. Each time more terrible than the last. Every time she closed her eyes, she saw someone else dead. Pacifica, Candy, Grenda, Wendy, Stan, and Ford. All killed in some gruesome way. How everyone died at the begging was different when it started. But her nightmare always ended the same way.

Bill, Dipper, and her stood on a balcony. Mabel reached out for Dipper. But all he did was smile sadistically and told her that it was all her fault, that everyone was dead. And that she was better off dead. And Mabel always believed him.

She always ended up standing in the ledge of the balcony. Tears streaming down her cheeks as she leaned forward, kneeling that she was the cause of this satanic state of the world. Her body always fell soundlessly through the air, only making a large cracking noise when she hit the ground.

It seemed more and more real each time. Mabel couldn't take it, so she fought against her tiredness and kept her eyes open wide for each second that passed in every minute, that passed in every hour.

But being awake wasn't much better. Bill was always whispering to her. She knew that it was Bill in her mind, and not some little voice that everyone has. Because this voice would never go away like they usually do.

Mabel stopped rocking back and forth and looked down at her faded rainbow unicorn watch, the dim light of the numbers said that it was one past five in the morning. She sighed a looked around the room that she shared with the girls. Everyone was asleep, dreaming about how things used to be before they all got stuck in this hell.

Shaking her head, Mabel found herself scratching the wall near her bed again She had been scratching the wall for quite a while. It was one of the only things that seemed to make his voice quiet down so she could All the wallpaper was peeled all off the wall, leaving it a pale ghostly white. At this point, all she was doing was taking apart the wall. One scratch at a time. Blood painted her pointer finger's nail, like polish.

Picking away at the wall helped distract her thoughts and paranoia about her nightmare and about tomorrow. Tomorrow was the day everyone was going to head up to the Fearamid, tomorrow Mabel is going to kill Bill. As long as he didn't Kill everyone first and then cause Mabel to kill herself.

Fear towered over Mabel's mind as she picked at the wall more fiercely. Hardly noticing that her finger started bleeding again. Bill's voice echoed loudly in Mabel's head.

You can't stop what's coming Shooting Star. Pine Tree is all mine, you'll never get him back. He'll never be your brother again. You are going to die my dearest. You are going to be the reason why everyone you ever loved is dead. Bill's voice repeated over and over again.

Mabel shook her head violently, trying to shake his voice out of her head. She kept scratching. Using both her hands and all her fingers she scratched harder and faster. Her fingers felt sore, but she didn't care. She just kept on scratching and scratching.

Scratch away the fear. Scratch away the pain. Scratch away Bill fucking cipher. Scratch out Dipper. Scratch out Me. Scratch away the world. Scratch out reality. Scratch out everything. Mabel thought.

Mabel began to cry. Biting down on her bottom lip harshly to stop her from sobbing out loud, she continued to cry and scratch. She scratched harder and harder before she realized that she was scratching her arms. Her skin was all red and raw. The side of her forearms we bleeding lightly.

She wanted to feel horrified, she wanted to feel afraid of herself. She wanted to stop herself, but Mabel just started scratching again. Trying to scratch out the world that seemed to hate her so much.

You are going to fucking die knowing you are the reason everyone is dead. Bill whispered in Mabel's head.

"No." Mabel whispered.

Oh yes.

"No. I will not." Mabel whispered before her eyes shut and she fell asleep.

Hey there! So I updated because this week I don't have a lot of testing. So what do you think? Took me a few days to write because I could only write so much in between classes. I'll try to update later this weekend/early next week. Any thoughts on what may happen next? And thank you so much for 947 reads I really appreciate it!

-DarkMoonsLover