Obstacles [BOOK 3]

6

Kyrin

Tonight was one of those nights. Those dark nights where I found everyone in the house to be asleep but me. Where I wished my wife was in the bed so I could at least hold onto her until I fell asleep. Tonight was just one of those nights.

Throwing my covers off of my body, I walked into my closet and found the sweater I'd packed. It was Janet's sweater. Seemingly the only sweater that would help me sleep when I would go through these episodes. Putting it on my body, I got back in my bed and pulled the covers up. I hugged myself and tried to imagine it was her holding me instead. Tonight... was one of those damn nights where I wanted to rip up those divorce papers and put my ring back on. Where I wanted to move back into the old house and see her every morning when I opened my eyes. No matter how much time passed, it was still nights where I wanted nobody but my wife. It seemed to be something I couldn't get rid of so after a while I just learned to embrace the moments.

Six months had passed and I still felt like life wouldn't ever speed up again. My world paused when I walked out of that door and it never played again. It never seemed to ever continue on after that day but instead it felt like I was making different choices as I lived out the same exact days. Usually, I'd call Autumn but I knew that I couldn't even handle that tonight. I couldn't even digest having any other arms around my waist except for Janet Jackson-Broussard's. I closed my eyes as I took a deep breath.

My therapist told me days like this would come randomly and it wasn't much I could do about it unless I decided not to give up on the love of my life. I told my therapist she'd given up on us first— but now things had changed. She didn't want to sign the papers so did that mean that this fell on me? That us ending was now solely on me instead of us equally? Did me giving up now over power the fact that she threw in the towel first? She picked the towel back up and now it seems like I'm the heartless one... or at least that's how I feel.

Crying came from the baby monitors suddenly and I lifted up happily, glad to have some form of distraction. Leaving my room, I entered the twins room and found Liv practically screaming her lungs out. Jaden was sleeping which is literally him every night. Somehow he can sleep through his sisters cries. Picking her up, I cooed. "Oh mamas princess, what's wrong?" I cuddled her and she quieted down after a moment or two. Smiling down at her, I saw she was staring back at me and I asked. "You want another bottle don't you? Let's go make you another bottle."

When I went to walk out, Landon came in the room. He rubbed his eyes. "I can get it if you want to sleep some more?"

I shook my head. "No it's okay. Go back to sleep. I got her."

He nodded and left the room after checking on Jaden. I went down my steps and made my way to the kitchen. Sitting Liv in the play pen by the dining table, I turned the lights on as I went to warm her a bottle up. Earlier tonight she didn't want to eat and I knew the hunger would catch up with her eventually. As the bottle warmed, I watched her become mesmerized by one of her toys. My mind calmed some at the sight of my children and I took a moment to just get my senses straight. When the bottle finished, I grabbed it and shook it some more to make sure it was all dissolved.