There is no me without you (a supercorp Fanfiction)

Chapter 44

Lena POV
I watched as Alex falls apart in the DEO med bay. Maggie was hurt. I have no idea what had happened. Kara was crying. Alex was screaming. I take the kids into the training room.
"Casey, want to see something cool?" I ask him. My plan is to distract them from what ever is going on. I take them out past the training room to the shooting range. I have been meaning to tech these kids how to shoot and now seems like a perfect time. I show them how to stand, how to properly handle a gun and show them how to aim. I walk each of them through it slowly and patiently. Casey and Sam has the biggest smiles I have ever seen from these kids. I hold ruby close as Sam and Casey kept working on their aim. These kids are so amazing. I try my best to keep them distracted from what ever is going on between Alex and Kara. All I know is whatever it is these kids don't need to see it. I know things have been all over the place since Kara told me that we are soul mates. I know I haven't handled things the best. I know I handled everything poorly when Lex told me that Kara was super girl. I know things have been strained since these kids got here from earth 56. All I want is Kara to be happy. But deep down I know it will never be with me. I'm a fucking Luther for fucks sake! Deep down I know she would be a million times happier without me in her life. If I wasn't here then Alex and Kara would still be close. She wouldn't have to choose between me and her family. My mind is going to places I try really hard for it not to go. I know it's my depression. I haven't told Kara how bad it can be because I don't want to damper her light. I'm like a black hole where no light can escape. I don't want to drag her down too. I know I am not perfect, maybe my brother and mother were right. Maybe I should have done the world a favour and killed myself. Maybe with me gone, Kara would be safe. Maybe I could make it up to the world for lex's behaviour, the genocide him and mother committed. Maybe my death would make up for it. I let go of ruby. I take the guns off Sam and Casey. I tell them to go to the training room to soar with some agents while I put the guns away. I watch them leave. I out one gun away and walk out still holding the other one. I walk out past the med bay Kara tried to catch my attention but I was too focused on what was in my hand. The only thing I could think about was that doing this will make the world safe for my Kara. I walk straight out of the deo. I have one chance to make it right. I start to run as fast as I can to put everything in place so Kara will always be looked after. I keep running straight to L-Corp. this should make up for everything. This will keep her safe. This will make the world a better place than I ever could.