There is no me without you (a supercorp Fanfiction)

Chapter 14

Chapter 14
Lena POV

That's it. I can die happy now. Feeling her lips against mine. Oh my lord. My eyes flutter open. Praying that I didn't make a mistake. That I didn't miss read this. My heart dropped as I looking into her eyes. I totally fucked this up! Typical fucking Luthor thing to do!
"Kara" I whisper. My breath catching in my throat. I'm terrified.
"I have to go, I'm sorry Lena" she rushes out. She super speed to the door and flew away. I could feel the tears already stinging the back of my eyes. I Fucked everything up! I shouldn't have tried! I should have just put my feelings into boxes. I race to the bar grabbing a bottle of scotch. Feeling bad habits and dark monsters creating back into my head. I slide down the kitchen wall. Knees to my chest. Taking a deep breath to stop things getting out of control. I look at the bottle of scotch. Taking the cap off, I raise the bottle to my lips. Taking a big swig, praying the burn in my throat will take my mind off the look of horror on kara's face. I really screwed up! I try so had not to look at the knives in the block on the counter. I've tried so hard not to go back there. I've tried so hard not to go back to how I was. The amount of times I have tried to kill myself over the years. I haven't tried since the day Kara walked into my life. She literally lights up my world. She knows me so well that she has helped me without even trying. Tears still steaming down my face, scotch in my hand. I keep drinking. I know I shouldn't be. But I'm trying so hard. Maybe just maybe I do deserve this. Half the bottle is now gone. I keep going. I can't live like this. My walls only ever broke down because of her and I fucked it up! I grab my phone opening my texts.
'Alex, tell Kara I'm sorry' I typed out and sent to Alex. I turn the phone off. They are better off without me. I turned into a monster just like Lex. I should do the world a favour. The voice in my head kept saying. I start to think it's right. The scotch isn't enough. I slowly crawl over to the counter. Grabbing a knife out of the block. Draining the last of the scotch I raise the knife to my thigh. Letting the knife dig deeper into my flesh than I ever have before. Moving to my arm I start at my wrist dragging the knife deep to my elbow. It doesn't even hurt, not compared to what I've done to Kara. I watch the blood seeping quickly from my arm hitting the floor. Hopefully the emptiness, the darkness will finally leave. Now I can free Kara from my darkness. I sigh thinking about Kara as my head starts to spin. I black out there on the floor. Hopefully this makes up for all the lives the Luthor's have destroyed.