Chasing the Heart's Pursuit (Heart Series #1) - COMPLETED

Chapter 43

FORCED

43

He grabbed my hand that is resting on the table. He caressed the back of my hand with his thumb.

"I got scared for you, Mory. Dad won't stop anyway. It's the only way for me. I know you won't allow me to go without an explanation that time so I called you ugly names just like the..."

Napatigil siya at tila hindi kaya sabihin 'yung sinabi niya nung nakaraan.

"Parasite." I smiled widely. " Or toxic?"

He worriedly looked at me. "Mory..."

Binawi ko ang mga kamay ko sa pagkakahawak niya. Masaya akong narinig ang rason niya. Sa wakas, matitigil at masasagot na rin ang isa sa mga tanong na gusto-gusto kong bigyan ng sagot. Nang narinig ko ang rason, mas naging buo na ang isip ko. Magkaiba nga talaga kami ni Edson. He was driven by his emotion when he decided to break up with me. If it was me? I would've decided rationally. Different from what he did.

"You know..." Simula ko kaya napa-angat siya ng tingin. "I realized that we really are different, Edson."

"W-what do you mean by that?"

"Us. We're just really different. We're not in the same spectrum. Malayo kunbaga," I elaborated. "So, let's stick to that, okay? Ipatuloy natin na malayo ako sa problema ng pamilya mo. Let's do that."

I sincerely looked at him. This time, I grabbed his hand. A sign that I am expecting his explanations.

"Thank you for your explanation. I really appreciate it. I realized something. Maybe, ngayon, kailangan ko nang maghanap ng kapareha ko para wala na masyadong problema, 'di ba?"

He just maintained his silence. "Continue to strive for your goal. I'll root for you."

"Sino ang tinutukoy mo kung gan'on?"

Agad akong napatingin sa kanya nang magsalita sa wikang hindi niya madalas ginagamit.

"It's Dr. Gomez, right?"

Tumayo ako at kinuha ang bag ko. I've barely eaten but at least for once, my emotional state has been fed. Tungkol kay Dr. Gomez, pwede na naman sigurong subukan ko hindi ba? Kasi baka ang taong katulad ko talaga ang makapanatag sa akin.

Since, I decided to finish things maturely.

"Yes, Edson. Katulad ko siya. Sa halos lahat ng bagay."

"Well, he is not for you," he hardly spat.

"I think I know who's for me and who's not better than you do."

That was the end of the "closure" conversation with Edson. I started accepting Dr. Gomez's invitation. Edson continued to try to talk to me and I've always rejected it. Tapos na para sa akin. Tingin ko hindi pa sa kanya. Kailangan niya sigurong hindi muna ako makita para tuluyan niya nang matanggap. Wala na akong kontrol doon.

Kinakailangan ko pang gamitin si Dr. Gomez para lang umalis siya. It's effective because he really backs off kapag nandiyan na si Dr. Gomez. I don't know why.

"What's wrong? You didn't like their steak here?" Dr. Gomez asked me in one of our dinner dates.

How long has it been since I've agreed to this?

Barely, 3 weeks, I guess. Pero sa tingin ko napakahabang panahon na. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang mali. May kulang lang pa rin. Walang katapusang kakulangan. I thought Dr. Gomez and me will clicked because we're similar but I don't know.

Everything's too bland.

Everythig's not enough.

"Ayos lang. Marami lang akong iniisip ngayon."