Chasing the Heart's Pursuit (Heart Series #1) - COMPLETED

Chapter 32

EMPTY

32

Nanginginig ang kamay ko habang nakatingin sa litrato.

I couldn't move but my hands were shaking. How ironic!

Even my lips, I can feel it trembling.

I am caught dumbfounded. I couldn't believe what I was seeing.

Ilang beses ko nang pina-alala sa sarili ko na magiging makatuwiran na ako sa pagharap sa mga paparating na mga problema, pero hindi ito. Hindi ito. This is beyond my capability of striving to be rational towards things and situations.

This.

This one...

This is too much for me.

I already adjusted enough. My focus should only be on my studies. To finish this course as scheduled and as planned. I gave a space for Edson – only for him.

I waited for him.

I forgave him.

I understood him.

I gave more than how much I should.

At the end, the result? Being lied to. But, no surprise though.

I chuckled dryly.

After all, humans wouldn't be humans if they won't disappoint you.

Paano maiiwasan 'yon? Iwasang magbigay nang sobra. Iwasang maging parating bukas nang hindi mabigo. Mabigo sa mga ina-asahan mula sa mga taong pinagkakatiwalaan mo.

Let them enter in your life but never close your heart. Huwag mo munang isarado para naman kung hindi na sila maganda para sa'yo ay puwedi silang palabasin ulit.

That simple!

Tiningnan ko ang e-mail kung saan nanggaling ang mensahe. But, it's from an animated e-mail address. I bet this is a newly created one. Napagtanto kong hindi naman yata importante kung saan ito nanggaling, ang mahalaga ay kung ano ang nilalaman nito.

In this case, that idea is applicable.

It's a good thing that I've discovered this actually. The earlier the better, right?

Inayos ko ang sarili ko. Hindi dapat iniiyakan ang mga bagay na ganito. Hindi na dapat pag-aksayahan pa ng panahon. Kaya't dapat ay hindi na rin malaman ng iba.

Dalawang linggo. 'Yan ang panahon bago ang pasukan ngayon taon. Ganyan kahabang panahon din para sa paghahanda ng mga kakailanganin – paghahanda sa gagawin ko.

I will end this.

By this, I mean, whatever I and Edson have. I thought I was ready, turns out I wasn't.

Pinag-isipan ko nang matagal ang bagay na 'to. Alam kong ang desisyong ito ay hindi ko minadali. Isina-alang-alang ko ang napakaraming bagay dito.

I prepared for this. I pledged to myself that I wouldn't make this a big deal.

"Love..."

I saw Edson approaching me. He's wearing his usual clothes when he's not in school. He's wearing a black khaki shorts, black v-neck shirt and white sneakers.

"Sorry, did I keep you waiting?" he asked.

Nginitian ko siya ng tipid.

"Am I late?"

Hindi. Sa katunayan, maaga nga siya. Na-una lang talaga akong dumating.

I am not excited. I just want this to be done. As fast as possible.