chemical

9.

"You're all ready." The stylist said with a smile.

I thanked her and  followed the woman with the clipboard to the photographer.

"You look beautiful." My mom said with a proud smile to me when i entered the room.

I gave her a small smile. I felt the opposite from beautiful.

"I just want you to play around a bit, move your legs and relax your face." The photographer said to me.

I nodded and took a deep breath. They always said that but ended up yelling at me.

He did actually like i had anticipated.

"Show me more skin! Smile but without your eyes! Lean back! Lean forward!" He yelled at me not even 2 minutes later.

I tried my best to follow his confusing directions but i was so bloody tired.

"Take a breath." The photographer said while he checked the already made photos.

I relaxed a little bit and trew my head back. I felt like i was going to fall asleep at any moment.

"Yes, ready in 3..2..1" The photographer said.

I lifted my head back up and tried to look alive. But i heard no camara clicks, every body just gave me a weird look.

"Your nose." My mom said concerned.

Confused i touched my nose, it was bleeding.

I quickly stood up and rushed to the bathroom.

"Don't get it on the clothes!" Was all i could hear from the room.

I quickly closed the bathroom stall behind me. This wasn't the first time that i had a nosebleed but still i was freaking out. I unrolled the entire roll of toilet paper and held it against my nose.

I had heard mutiple stories where people with cancer have such bad nosebleeds that they have to have their vessels burned shut. That was the main reason that i was scared to have nosebleeds.

"What the hell Kate? You said that you felt good enough." My mom said distressed as she walked into the toilet.

"I have fucking cancer. How good do think I'm able to feel?" I replied angry.

"You need to be honest with me about those things."

"Fine you want me to honest? I hate this. I never wanted this life in the first, you wanted it. I'm happy that I'm sick, I'm happy to be free from you." I yelled at her.

"You're just upset you don't mean that."

"I'm not upset! I'm being fucking honest."

I heard her walk away after said that.

I sighed relieved and sat down on the floor. 

After 5 minutes my nose had stopped bleeding. I sighed and left the toilet stall. By some miracle there wasn't a single drop of blood on my dress. After i drank some water i walked back to the set.

"Everything alright?" The photographer asked.

I nodded. "Yeah, sorry for the holdup."

"It's okay, i think i have all the shots that we need. So you're free to leave." He said with smile.

"Thank you." I said a bit surprised. Most photographers wanted to take as much shot as possible.

I basically ran back to the dressing room, i wanted to get out of here as quick as possible.

I trew my dress off and got in my own comfortable, baggy clothes.

"Ready?" My mom aksed me when i came ouf of the dressing room.

"Definitely."

"Shall we get you something to eat? You must be starving." My mom said as we walked to the car.

I shook my head. "I'm tired."

"Kate, it's important to eat something. You might feel less tired if you do."

"No." I mumbled.

She started the car. "I'm getting you something to eat whether you like it or not."

I didn't response to that. I couldn't care less about what she did, i wanted to take a bloody nap.

Calum

"Where's the blond girl?" Luke asked me as he joined my table.

I gave him a confused look.

"Your new patient, the one with the blond hair."

"Oh you mean Kate."

He shrugged. "If that's her name then yes."

"Her mom took her to a photoshoot or something. But how do you even know her? I haven't mentioned her to you."

"I saw her in the hallway last night. She was sitting on the floor looking like she was about to cry."

"Really?"

"Yeah, i helped her back to her room. She was a bit strange if you'd ask me."

I sighed. "Tell me about. She's might be one of the most difficult patients I've ever had."

"How come?"

"I feel like i have zero connection with her. At some moments i even get the feeling that she doesn't even want to be treated."

"You just need to give her some time. She probably doesn't know what to think of all this hospital stuff. "

"Mabye."

I had the feeling that there was something else that was bothering Kate. But i couldn't wrap my finger around it.

Luke pager went off. "I gotta go, I'll talk to you later." He said before he rushed out of the cafeteria.

I also got up to go and do some paperwork.

When i was walking to my office i saw that Kate and her mom had come back.

"How was it?" I asked the both of them when they walked out of the elevator.

Kate ignored me and walked past me to her room.

"It went alright. She just had a little nosebleed that's all." Her mom said to me with a smile.

"Is she alright?"

She nodded. "Of course, it was nothing special. "

I nodded, i truly hoped that it was just a nosebleed and bothing else.

"Oh i wanted to ask you something." I quickly said before she walked away.

She turned around with a smile. "Of course, what is it?"

"I noticed that she had scars on her arm. When i asked her about them she said that those happend when she ripped her own IV out. I just want to know it that is something that i should be worried about."

Her mom's smile dropped. "I honestly don't know if she will do something like that again. She was around 8 when she did that but you never know with children."