chemical

12.

It was dark as i crawled under the table. It was the only safe place to hide when he was around. Or at least that was what i thought.

"There you are." He said with a devilish smile.

"Leave us alone!" I yelled angry at him as i moved farther back.

"That's no way to treat your father." He said as he reached his arm out.

I kicked his arm away. "You're not my dad."

He pulled his arm back and stood up. "You little piece of shit."

I thought it was over but he was only getting started.

He kicked to table causing it to fall on his side.

"I want my mom." I sobbed to him.

"Oh really? Shall we see if your mom wants you?"

He grabbed my arm and dragged me to my mom's bedroom.

"Mom?" I said hesitantly to the figure under the blanket.

He let go of my arm. I immediately ran to my mom and shook her around.

She wasn't responding but i could tell
that she was still breathing.

"Wake up, wake up." I said to her.

She rolled over, i looked her in her bloodshoot eyes.

"I want him gone." I said to her as i pointed to the guy.

She didn't answer.

"Please mom." I begged her.

"Time's up, let's get you to bed." He said as he pulled me away.

"No! Let me go!"

I finally woke up. I put my hand on my chest as i tried to calm myself down. It was that same bloody nightmare again.

River was gone when i woke up. I didn't expect much else but i still was kinda disappointed. I didn't mind his company.

I stepped out of bed, i needed some distraction. I had too little energy to go outside so i decided to just take a walk around the hospital.

It was aroud 2 in the morning so i didn't expect Calum to around. But just to be safe i took the elevator to a different floor.

I still felt a little drowsy while i was walking through the halls.

As i turned a corner i saw a figure standing infront of an open room, it was Calum.

I froze as i made eye contact with him.

He smiled and gestured me to come over.

I slowy walked over to Calum and went to stand next to him.

I gave him an confused look. He pit his finger against his lips and pointed into the room we were standing infront of.

When i looked inside i saw a woman lying in a bed with a small baby in her hands. Next to her stood a man. Both of them where smiling with tears in their eyes.

But it wasn't a regular smile, it was something that i had never seen before.

I glanced over at Calum.

He didn't seem mad at all or even surprised that i was awake. He simply smiled as he looked at the couple in the room.

"Are all mothers this happy when they see there child?" I whispered to him.

"Unfortunately not. But there are always more happy faces than sad ones."

I thought about how my mom felt when she had me. It made me feel bad for not having any contact with here at the moment. Mandy had said that it was better for the both us that way.

The smile that I had on my face was slowly fading. I missed my mom, my real mom.

"Come." Calum said softly as he walked away from the room.

I followed behind him as i was fighting my tears. I didn't want to cry, i didn't want him to think that i was weak.

He remained silent until we where back in my room.

"Why are you not asleep?"

I hesitated for a second. I wanted to get a better relationship with him but i didn't know if i trused him.

"If i tell you the reason will you promise to keep it to yourself." I asked.

He nodded. "Of course."

I took a deep breath in. "I had a nightmare, the one I've been having for over 5 years."

I paused and looked at him. I immediately regretted telling him so i tried to fix it.

"I mean it's not really a nightmare because it doesn't scare me. I've had the dream so many times that nothing comes as a surprise."

"But it still stops you for having a Goodnight sleep." Calum said calmly.

I put my head down and looked at the ground. "Yeah, it does."

"What is the dream about?"

"I can't tell you that."

"Why?"

"You wouldn't understand it."

"Maybe some day you'll want to explain it to me."

I stayed quiet. I had sworn that i would never talk about my past again. My mom said that it would ruin my future if i did.

"You have group therapy tomorrow." He said changing the subject.

"Again?" I said annoyed.

He smiled. "Yes again. The more the better, especially for someone who has nightmares."

I shook my head. "Forget that i told you that."

He genlty placed his hand on my knee. "I care about the things you say. Your words are valid."

Nobody had ever said that out loud to me.

"Goodnight Kate try to get some sleep."

Still a little startled about what he had said i nodded. "Goodnight."

"Wake up sweetie." I heard coming from the distance.

I slightly opened my eyes and saw that my mom was standing in my room.

My head was pounding and i felt incredibly nauseous.

"What's that?" I asked when my mom put down a package on the edge of my bed.

"It's your scale. That way you can keep track of your weight so that you can get back to modeling when you're all better."

I was absolutely speechless. Having that stupid thing at home was already bad enough and now it was here. It was like i could never get a break.

"I will put it under the bed otherwise a nurse or doctor may trip over it."

I remained quiet while i gave her a dirty look.

"Why are you looking at me like that? You don't mind it at home so why would you not want it now?"

"I'm not here to worry about my weight. I'm here to get better." I replied with a clenched jaw.

"And keeping a healthy weight will speed your recovery up."