chemical

31.

For some reason my parents didn't seem to question me coming out of the elevator with my jakcet on. Calum held his hand on my shoulder as we walked to my parents.

"How was therapy sweetie?" My mom aksed with a smile.

That was typical of her, pretending that nothing had happend.

"It was good. I needed someone to talk to after you yelled at me this moring." I said salty to her.

She smiled awkwardly back and ignored what i had said.

My dad clapped in his hands. "Now that we are all here shall we get started with the appointment?"

"Of course, please follow me to my office." Calum said as he led us the way.

I walked next to him because i didn't feel comfortable with my parents at the moment.

"Thank you all for being here. It is a pleasure to see you all together again." Calum with a smile as he held to door open for us.

"I hope that you are going to give us some good news." My dad said as he said down next me. My mom said down on the other side of me.

Calum remaind silent as he closed the door. He sat down with a serious face. Whatever he had too say wasn't going to be good news. Not only i but also my parents could sense it.

"What is the news regarding our daughter?" My mom aksed nervously.

Calum cleared his troat and hesitantly started talking.

"The cancer is spreading. It took an unexpected turn that no one saw coming. If it continues to make his way to her organs i'm afraid that nothing will be able to stop it."

I froze. It wasn't what i was expecting or something that i wanted. If he had announced this a few weeks away i would've been the happiest person ever. But not now, not when i finally had friends who i cared deeply for.

"What will the future steps be?" My dad aks with tears in his eyes.

"We will continue with chemotherapy and we'll have to remove some bonemarrow for her body. Which means that she'll eventually need healthy tissue donated back to her." Calum explained

"No." I said with head down.

All eyes where now on me.

"What do mean?" My mom aksed trough her tears.

I looked up at her. "I don't want to continue the treatment. Not when we know it's not going to be effective. It's will only cause me more pain and discomfort."

"You don't get to decide that. You're only a child who can't take care of herself." My mom said.

"She will be able to make the decision once she's 18." Calum said calm to my mom.

"Which i will be in a few weeks." I whispered to her.

She shook her head in disbelief. "Why would you do this to us? Don't you love us?"

I looked her in the eyes. "I don't believe in love. It's just a chemical reaction in our brain, nothing more."

She cried even harder when i said that. "I'm sorry i just need a minute." She said before standing up and leaving the room.

My dad sighed and went after her. "I'm sorry." He said to the both of us.

"I meant what i said." I spoke to Calum as he looked at me.

He nodded. "I know but please think about it before you do. With the bonemarrow transplant there's still a fair chance that you'll be cured."

My dad come back into the room. "Dr Hood we give give you full permission to do everything you think is necessary to cure her. When she turns 18 we will respect her wishes and the decision lies in her own hands."

Calum nodded as he shook my dad's hand. "Thank you sir."

My dad then turned to me and kneeled down infront of me. "Please fight for me. Even if it is only a short month. I do not want to lose you."

I hugged him with tears in my eyes. I hated to see him like this.

He stood and said his last good byes. My mom had already left and was waiting in the car for him. But i didn't need a farewell from her anyways.

"Wait don't go just yet." Calum said as i was about to leave.

"Is there something else?" I asked as i sat back down.

"I want you to think very good about this decision because it's very important that you chose right. There is no wrong or right decision but please don't make it too quickly."

"I will think about it. I still have until my birthday to decide."

"That was all i had too say for today. If you need to talk to me you know where to find me or Ashton if you need him."

"Thank you Calum." I said with a smile. He helped me more today than i could've hoped for.

As i was walking back to my room i thought about what Calum had said. He was right, it wasn't easy to make an decision like that. Stopping the treatment would mean that i wouldn't go down fighting but would disappoint everyone around me. That wasn't something that i was looking forward to as my last moments.

But then again i also wasn't looking forward to be in constant pain and feel sick all time because of treatment. However the chances of my healing were still too big.

I wasn't planning on making the decision any time soon but i did wanted to prepare my parents and Calum that it was in my mind. I considered it as an option not as a last resort.

Just as i layed down on my bed there was a knock at the door. I lifted my head and saw that it was River who struggling to open the door while he was in a wheelchair.

I laughed a little as he was finally able to enter my room. "Don't laugh at me like that. You how bloody annoying this stupid thing is?" He said as he rolled towards me.

I stopped laughing. "I know but it just looked quite funny to see."

He rolled his eyes.

"You must be curious about the adress and stuff." I said to him a bit more serious.

He nodded. "Of course i am."

"She doesn't live there anymore. She moved a long time ago without leaving any information behind. An old man opened the door today. He was quite nice but he wasn't able to help me."

River layed his hand on my knee. "I'm sorry to hear that, i truly am."

"I must thank you for letting Calum know where i was. I kinda needed the company after that big disappointment."

He smiled up at me. "That's what i thought. You left in such a hurry that i was scared you where going to hurt yourself by doing something dumb. I didn't get you in trouble for telling on you right?"

"No, Calum kept it a secret from my parents and he didn't punish me."

River sighed relieved. "That's good to hear otherwise your parents might take you away from here."

Little did River know that wasn't going to be the problem anymore. But i didn't plan on telling him that until i had made an decision. I didn't want him to worry about my or change my decision. It would be mine and not that of someone else.