Sober, I'll Come Over (Revelry Series #1)

Hakbang 29

"Cause for the past six years... I always think when you're coming back to me..."

His words kept playing on my mind. Kahit pa ilang minuto na ang nakalipas simula noong sinabi nya iyon, paulit-ulit ko pa ring naririnig sa utak ko. I wasn't able to say anything coz I couldn't find the right words to say.

He... waited for... me? In those years that I was gone... he waited for me? Bakit?

We were done even before the tragedy happened. I broke up with him without hearing his explanations. I know I was wrong for doing that but that time... it was the best decision for me. Even though I still love him.

Umalis ulit ako na hindi kami maayos na nakapag-usap man lang. Everything was in chaos at that time. I was a mess at that time. Their men were jailed and he was on hospital arrest because of our accusations. I... shot him. And yet he still saved me... I wouldn't say I lived in peace when I was in Australia. It was hard for me too. There were times that I had these dreams that would not allow me to sleep at night. Looking back at everything, I couldn't believe that I survived that part of my life.

And all those years... I didn't think of coming back to him. If it weren't for our twins, I don't think I am here right now... in his car... talking to him about our past. Siguro kung hindi dahil kay Blade at Adara, hinding hindi na ako uuwi sa Pilipinas. Kasi ang alam ko, tapos na kami. Wala na akong babalikan. At sa totoo lang, takot din ako na makita sya... at malaman na galit sya sa akin... o wala na syang pakialam.

Sometimes... running from the truth is way more better than knowing it. So it wouldn't hurt so much. Kasi ang kaalaman na wala syang paki sa akin... o ang malaman na may pamilya na sya... ay masakit para sa akin.

"You hate me, right? Noong nagkita tayo kahapon sa event, galit ka sa akin. Bakit ngayon, sinasabi mo 'yan?" Nanghihina kong sabi.

It's still raining hard. Sana tumila na. Ayoko ang pakiramdam na kasama ko sya ngayon.

"That was because I am trying my best to justify my anger for you. Kasi ang tangina, galit ako sayo hindi dahil umalis ka... galit ako kasi akala ko nagpakasal ka sa iba! Tangina, diba? Hindi ka naman sa akin kaya wala akong karapatang magalit." Aniya.

I pursed my lips as I listened to him. Hindi kami magkatinginan sa isa't isa.

"Matagal na tayong tapos, Arson."

"Matagal mo na tayong tinapos. Ikaw, Allura. Ikaw lang ang tapos na sa ating dalawa."

Silence enveloped us. Hindi ko alam ang sasabihin. Ang alam ko lang, matagal ko na isinarado ang puso ko. Maybe it's the trauma of what happened in the past. I am scared to love and lose someone again. Kaya ako nandito, para sa anak namin. Hindi para sa aming dalawa.

"I... wanna go home..." Tanging sagot ko.

I heard him sighed. Hindi pa rin ako lumingon sa banda nya at inabala ang sarili sa pagtingin sa labas.

"We will. Kapag hindi na delikado." Aniya.

Okay... ayoko na makipagtalo sayo...

Tumalikod ako sa banda nya at sinandal ang ulo sa bintana. I closed my eyes and pretended that I'm sleeping. Maraming gumugulo sa utak ko. Isa na roon ay kung paano ko sasabihin sakanya ang tungkol sa anak naming dalawa. Is he ready for that? Am I... ready for that? Akala ko madali lang ito. Tipong sasabihin ko lang sakanya pagkatapos ay saka kami magdedesisyon para sa mga bata. Bakit ang hirap ngayon?

Naalala ko iyong sinabi sa akin ni Daddy. I should use this opportunity to tell him about the twins. Hindi na bale kung hindi ako ready. Ilang linggo na kami dito sa Pilipinas at alam kong naghihintay ang mga anak ko. Sila ang importante. They are so ready to meet him. Right, I should do this now!