Sober, I'll Come Over (Revelry Series #1)

Hakbang 37

"Parang lahat iniwan ako para sayo. Una si Achki. Ngayon naman si Arson. Anong mayroon at palagi nila akong iniiwan... dahil at para sayo?"

I was shocked and hurt by her words. I didn't expected that. Bakit parang naging kasalanan ko na ang mga sakit na naramdaman niya?

Nakaupo na kami ngayon sa table. Sa pwesto kanina ni Ram siya nakaupo. She's more calm now but she still doesn't wanna look at me.

Vaia's my friend. Even before she had a thing with my brother, she was already my friend. So hearing her words now and knowing that she's kinda blaming me for everything that has happened is making me sad.

Alam ko namang masakit sakaniya ang pagkawala ni Achki pero... masakit din iyon sa akin! I didn't want that to happen!

If I could turn back time, I'll sacrifice my own life for him.

She's blaming me why Achki left us. Don't worry, Vaia, I blamed myself too... for years...

And I think I'm still blaming myself.

"Achlys didn't leave you for me. Never was and never will. My brother loved you so much..." Umpisa ko.

Ayaw ko na sanang alalahanin pa ang parteng ito dahil masyadong masakit sa akin. My nightmares are enough to remind me about this part. But if she needed to hear this, then so be it.

"Hindi ginusto ni Achki na iwan ka at mawala siya. I know that he wants to spend this lifetime with you... but he didn't have the chance. Hindi ko rin gusto ang nangyari. Vaia, sa tingin mo ba, ginusto kong mawalan ng kapatid?" Nanghihina kong sabi.

"I-I don't know with you. Malay ko ba kung masyado m-mong mahal ang buhay mo?" She said hesitantly.

Nalaglag ang panga ko sa sinabi niya. I can't believe she thinks of me like that!

"I loved my brother so much that I will even take a bullet for him! I don't care that much before about my life, Vaia! Kung alam mo lang kung ilang beses kong hiniling na sana ako na lang ang nawala kaysa si Achki!"

Sinubukan kong pakalmahin ang sarili. Achki, I respect that she is your girl but this is too much for me!

Alam kong hindi ko obligasyon na ipaliwanag ang sarili sa iba pero hindi ko kayang hindi magsalita sa parteng ito.

"I rarely pray but that time... when I was holding him while he's running out of life... I prayed so hard! I was ready to trade my life just so he can live! I understand if you're blaming me-"

Marahas nya akong nilingon.

"I'm not blaming you, Allura! I don't want you to trade your life, too! I'm just thinking that maybe... maybe you could've done something!"

"Sa tingin mo hindi ko naisip 'yan?! Ang daming beses na nagsisi ako na sana may ginawa ako! Sana hindi na lang ako nagtago! Sana hindi ko siya sinunod! Sana lumabas din ako noon!"

Huminga ako nang malalim para pakalmahin ulit ang sarili. Mabuti at walang masyadong tao rito sa banda namin.

Vaia wiped her tears away. Her shoulders are shaking from crying so much. I took a deep breath. I don't wanna hurt her but I can't sacrifice this one too.

It's not only for me. It's also for my twins.

"Hindi ka nila iniwan dahil at para sa akin. Kung si Achlys lang ang masusunod, hindi siya aalis... hindi ka niya iiwan..." Ani ko.

"At si Arson?"

I smiled weakly.

"Vaia, I am not in control of everything. I tried to push him away-"