Not quite suicidal

Seeing him

sky's pov:

After waking up, I put on some black skinny jeans, black tank top, a black and grey leather jacket, and some black vans. I felt pretty badass.

I walked over to Ruben. He was still snoring. Dawww. That's fucking adorable.

I put a lil note on the cabinet but the bed.

Went to the hospital
I may or may not
Bring taco bell when I
Come back ;)
Xxx
(P.s watch Toby?)

I kissed Ruben on the head before running down stairs. I see Toby sleeping on the couch. He slept there last night watching his favorite show.

I pick him up and took him to his room. I covered him with blankets and walked back downstairs. When I was halfway down the stairs the nanny stopped me.

"Where you going young lady"

"Ah, no were maria. Just to visit a friend" I chuckled and tried to push by her and she stopped me.

"You not going anywhere"

"I'm going to the hospital maria. You can't stop me" I pushed by her again and she stopped me.

"C'mon child. You can't go"

"Why not"

"Because I say so. You cannot go anywhere by yourself in new York."

"Maria...I have been everywhere by myself. I can handle myself"

"No! No. Children like you too weak!"

"I'm not a child. And your not my mom"

"Closest thing you have to mom"

I ran passed her and went to the front door. When I walked outside it was cloudy. It looked like it was about to rain. Possibly snow even.

I decided to ride the bus to the hospital. It took about ten minutes of an old guy sitting next to me and kept on asking me what year this is. Year. The fuking year. Oh my god.

When I got to the hospital I just walked past the lady. I didn't bother. I just walked up the stairs into his room.

When I walked in he looked a bit worse. His cuts have gotten better, his bruises have gotten more sore. He looked terrible.

I walked to him. His eyes were closed shut. He looked so peacefull. Yet he looked like he was in hell.

I sat next to him struggling to hold back tears. I put my hand behind his Hamid and ran my fingers through his hair.

"Its all my fault" I muttered.

For the rest of the day I stayed there next to him. I could hear/imagine him saying 'babe' 'don't worry about it' I still remember his hugs. Might have been just yesterday but it felt like forever.

I could still remember his lips on my cuts...

While I was talking to Johnathan about Ruben a nurse walked in

"Um m'am...visiting hours are over"

"Okay...thanks" I smiled and looked down at Johnathan.

"See ya tomorrow babe. Heh" I kissed his forehead and walked out the room.

It was only six in the afternoon. I walked to taco bell. It was only a five minute walk. I walked inside and ordered like twenty thousand fucking tacos. There fucking good.

When I walked back home it was silent. The only noise I heard was the shoe in the tv that Toby was watching.

"Um...Toby?...wheres Ruben"

"He was here?"

"Yeah. I-is he still asleep"

"Guess so"

"Ruben!"

I ran up the stairs angry. When I walked in I see him sleeping. I set the tacos down by the drawer and grabbed a snow globe that I got a couple weeks ago.

I threw it at him. He woke up screaming.

"What the fuck!" He yelled standing up

"Oh honey what's wrong" I said innocently

"What the fuck was that!"

"Oh the snow globe?"

"Yes!"

"Oh uh...well let's see. That snow globe, had water in it. Oh and its not one of those plastic snow globes, its a glass one. Did that wake you up?"

"No shit!"

"Oh I'm sorry. Did that hurt?"

"....what!"

"That's what you get for not watching Toby!"

"I was watching Toby?"

"...yes!"

"Oh shi--oh shit. Sky, I'm sorry"

"To late. You were sleeping the whole fucking day!"

"I was fucking tired!"

"...oh my god I...I can't deal with this. Get out."

"Wha--"

"Get out. Get out!"

"No no no"

"Yes! Get out!"

He stares at me with sorrow eyes. He walks out the room before muttering I'm sorry. I ignored him.

He walked out the house after saying bye to Toby. When he was out the house I walked down stairs to Toby.

I ate the tacos with him till he fell asleep. He fell asleep on my lap and I brought him up to his room.

So this was day one without Johnathan... This was gonna be hell till Johnathan wakes up...

If he wakes up...