Not quite suicidal

he's back

(If you have a dirty mind just...there's not a dirty part just that it says things I guess that might see wrong in some way XD)

Johnathans pov:

The next day after I supposibly woke up from the coma I went to sky's house and visited the little guy, Toby.

I spent hours talking to him and sky was there to but hardly talked. She just sat on the bed laying down watching us. I always wondered why she was protective of him as if he was her child.

I showed Toby my type of music (with sky yelling at me to turn it off cause supposebly he was 'too young')

I talked to him about a lot of things that a little kid like him shouldn't know about yet. But it was still kind of necessary for him to know.

Right now me and sky are in the room with Toby sleeping. I was laying against the wall with a leg up and my hand laying on it dangling and the other just by my side. Sky sat by me after laying Toby down to sleep on her bed.

"So...what happened while I was unconscious?"

"Nothing. Justhat me and Ruben kissed haha. And I believe that's it actually"

"Cool. Cool. Haha"

"Haha. So do you remember anything from being...yano unconscious"

"...just being in a white room with wodden furniture. Why?"

"White room?"

"Yeah. When your in a concusion your like in a white room...with wooden chairs and a bed that's in the muddle of the room. I can actually hear what people were saying outside. Like when you visited I heard the conversations just...couldn't respond."

"Did you wish you could respond to any of what I said?"

"Yea. Very. Because...I remember when you were crying. I couldn't see you but...it still hurt me...I wanted to jump out of my own skin and hug you. To show you some sign of comfort."

"That's sweet. But now I feel embarrassed"

"Why?"

"Because I can't show weakness. I don't like to. And that was the weakest I ever was. I grew up in Australia with my cousins and uncles. Nearly all of em were boys. Just one or two were girls. So I hung around with the boys alot and...I was taught to not show weakness. But the way they thaught me was to make fun of me...it was hard but....I guess I some how did it"

"Is it really that hard for girls to grow up with all guys?"

"Its tougher than it seems"

"How?"

"Well...you know how being a boy and being raised your thaught not to cry not to do anything...like whining or have any emotion at all..."

"Sadly yes"

"We for girls...they ease up on you a bit...the grown ups do...not the kids your age...so my cousin constantly teased me because...I was the short chubby kid...I was the joke of the family basically...it was hard. Like growing up with guys, your expected to grow beautiful and geargous body. And if you don't you get treated like crap."

"...so your mind set on boys is that they are crap"

"Kind of. Than I met you..."

"What did I have to do with any of that"

"Your...kind. Your sweet yano. Your...different"

she looked up at me from looking down at her wrist with eyes that weirdly looked like they had a fiery passion yet...so much pain. Like she looked as if she had so much going on in her life that I missed out on in just one month...