"Kill Me, Attorney." (Law Series #3)

PART TWENTY-TWO: SPREAD THE WORD: SHE'S BACK!

"Appreciate mo naman ako, hmm? Kahit kaunti lang..."

I couldn't move. The pain in Casper's eyes was enough to trigger tears in my eyes.

So it's real. His first love... it was me.

"Casper..." I hardly uttered.

Hindi ko malaman ang sasabihin ko. Nakatitig lang siya sa 'kin habang tumutulo ang mga luha. Gusto ko man magsalita pero hindi ako makapag-isip ng sasabihin. Gusto kong tumakbo papalayo pero wala akong lakas para gumalaw.

Aubrielle was just staring at us. Andrius from a far did too.

"W-Wala ba talaga akong chance?" Casper asked and his voice was shaky. Tears were once again building up in his eyes. "Kahit kaunti lang? Kahit...kapiranggot?" 

I bit my lower lip. 

Hindi ko malaman kung ano ba ang nagdudulot ng sakit sa dibdib ko. Iyon bang katotohanan na all this time, ako ang rason sa mga nangyayaring hindi maganda kay Casper gaya na lamang ng aksidente niya o 'yung katotohanan na I don't feel the same. 

When he saw the pain that was written all over my face, Casper smiled painfully and he looked down.

"So wala nga talaga..." he then smiled bitterly and I saw how his tears fell to the ground.

"Casper..." I uttered. "You're a good friend...let's...let's stay that way..." 

"When you love someone you can't just be her friend forever, Neska." 

Just then, he met my eyes. Halos manlumo ako nang makitang namumugto na ang mga mata niya. 

"Especially if you see her as the mother of your children," he followed.

Tears once again fell from my eyes. I know the familiar pain he was experiencing yet, I didn't know exactly what to do.

Nagsimulang umambon hanggang sa unti-unting lumakas at nagtakbuhan ang mga tao. Naiwan kaming nakatayo ni Casper at walang nag-alis ng tingin sa isa't isa, parehong hindi malaman ang gagawin.

"Nakakatawa, ano?" tanong niya at pinilit na ngumiti pero namumuo na ang luha sa mga mata. "We are both notes under the same music but are dancing with different melodies." 

It pierced my heart.

 "I'm sorry," he said. "I'm sorry for loving you more than what I should. I'm sorry if I fell for you. I'm sorry Neska, I'm sorry..." 

I bit my lower lip. I wanna hug him like what I used to do whenever he was this emotionally wrecked but I was afraid I may give him false hope. No one should feel sorry for loving someone. 

"Casper..." I said. "Mabuti kang tao. Marami pang magkakagusto sa 'yo..." 

"Then why can't it just be you?" he asked, meeting my eyes. "I may seem desperate now, pero Neska, mahal na mahal lang talaga kita." 

"Casper..." I hardly uttered. "You know I have someone now."

"I know," he immediately said. "But what can I do? Do you think I want you to feel uncomfortable? Neska, the heaven knows how much I tried to fight the urge pero kapag nakikita kitang nakangiti, natatalo ako."

I closed my eyes hardly and tears built up in my eyes.

"Bakit kasi ako..." I uttered and met his eyes.

"I don't know," he said and the pain was obviously killing him alive. "I didn't choose you. My heart did." 

Unti-unting bumuhos ang malakas na ulan. Wala nang makapagsalita sa amin hanggang sa pareho naming maramdaman ang payong na nasa itaas na ng mga ulo namin.