Mr. Devil

*Little to Nothing*

Jacob's POV

I woke up the next morning with Charlie tucked tightly into my side. She was still dead asleep and snored softly. This past week had absolute hell without her. The amount of fights I had gotten in because someone simple looked at me the way I didn't want them to.

Charlie brings out the good in me. The good I didn't know existed until her. She keeps me calm and collected. I don't know how she does it but she does.

I hadn't felt mental pain in a very long time. Normally things didn't hurt me and I just brushed them off and they didn't effect me. I had completely forgotten what the feeling of mental pain had felt like. That was until the day Charlie broke up with me.

For the first time since I was 10 I had felt pain. It felt as if someone took out my heart, stomped on it, then put it back in and expected me to live with it. It had killed me so I drank to take the paid away. I don't drink. I hate drinking, that was until that night.

I could tell there was something behind her eyes telling me that he hadn't wanted to do what she did but she did anyway, like she was forced. Then she had stopped showing up in school and that's when I started fighting everyone.

Making others feel pain made mine subside some. She always was in my mind, even when I had blacked out from drinking. Her dark brown doe eyes stayed in my head. Nothing got them out.

I didn't remember showing up to Charlie's house but seeing her up in her room looking down at me sobered me up. Yes I was still a little drunk but I remember each and every little thing that had happened. The awful time of me quoting Shakespeare to the hickey that she had left on my neck. She missed me too.

Then at breakfast and how for the first time since I was 10 years old I cried. Pathetic I know. My father didn't raise me to be weak and show emotion like I had shown her.

My father was an absolute monster. He has me starting to work for his gang when I was 8. Young I know. I didn't do much, just delivered messages here and there.  I had to be tough and know how to control how I feel. When I turned ten my father started drinking more and more.

He would come home angry and beat my mother and I to the pulp. He said that if I wanted to be a real man I would suck it up and learn how to deal with the pain.

He never would hurt Hannah. He knew better than to that. She was the only one he loved. She had him wrapped around his finger. One day I came home from school to see my mother on the ground, blood all around her. Fist indents covered her head and bruises covered her face.

My father had killed her. That was the last time I had cried. Father caught me and threatened to kill me as well.

I had always grown up with little to nothing but since my mother had died it had always been nothing. I could of had more but I didn't want more. I just wanted my mom.

He trained me hard until I turned seventeen when he had died of a heart attack. I was so glad that dick was dead. I took over his mafia and now no one ever speaks of his name or they face the consequences.

I hadn't cried since the death of my mother. I hadn't even cried when I had found out my sister had cancer. I just felt emotionless. Hannah wouldn't have wanted to cry anyway. She would have just laughed at me and told me how she will be okay and that I should be happy instead.

The saddest part that had almost made me cry was when she had told me that if she didn't make it should be with mom. Hannah looked up to mom more than I did. When dad had killed her I made sure to keep Hannah and her friends house. I had talked to her friends mom and she had understood.

Even after all of this has happened to me I hadn't cried during any of those times. I stayed strong but for what. For some huge break down in front of the one girl I didn't want to see this side of my life.

Yet here Charlie is making cry over simply being herself. God I fucking missed her. I missed the way her cheeks blush when I make a dirty comment or how they blush when I call her beautiful. I missed the way her lips felt against mine and the way they tasted. I missed the smell of her perfume. Vanilla with a hint of a berry smell.

I hadn't exactly explained to her had happened to my mom but I know that with time she will become curious and will want to know. I want to leave her out of this side of my life. This is the side that I wanted to keep in the dust so she wouldn't want to run away.

When she finds about how much of a shitty person I am she will leave me just like everyone else and I will once again be left with nothing. As of right now I don't care about the future that may come.

I am feeling things that I have never felt for anyone and that scares me. What if I hurt her. What if Cerberus gets her and I can't protect her, just like how I couldn't protect my mom. She could end up dead because of me.

If Charlie ever ended up dead I don't think I could ever live with myself. I wouldn't want to live anymore if she wasn't here. She is like my air. I need her to survive and if I don't have her I slowly go down hill.

I am falling head over heels in love with this woman and just that scares me shitless.

    Soooo you guys finally got to see a little bit into Jacob's past. You got to see some the things that had shaped him into who he is today!