Falling for you [JIKOOK]

Chapter 21

Walking all alone on the street on his way back to home, cold breeze brushed his cheeks and made them red and stiff. There were no tears in Jungkook's eyes, it all felt like a nightmare, he still could not process what Jimin just said to him. His phone was continuously beeping since his eomma and Jimin were calling and texting him restlessly. He was not in his right state of mind to take it out of his pocket.

Somehow he managed to reach home, when his eomma opened the door and he went straight to his room without replying to his eomma's non-stop questions as she was worried. Entering his room, he locked the door and ignored his eomma's request to talk to her. Jungkook was his parents' only child. His parents' whole world used to revolve around Jungkook and they were also very supportive to him.

Jungkook leaned his back against the door and slowly slid down on the floor. He threw his backpack away. Was he angry, sad, heartbroken or betrayed? He thought to himself, why could he not cry when everything was falling apart for him. He again felt his chest got congested and he could not breathe well. He was breathing rapidly and then he took out his phone from his pocket. He saw 10 messages and 15 missed calls from Jimin. Without reading them, he deleted them at once.

Even though Jungkook looked strong from outside, he was very fragile inside. His baby like mind could not think of any solution how to get rid of that pain. He wanted to cry so that he could burst out the pain he was holding inside but shockingly he could not cry. He took a long hot shower to relax his muscles and finally unlocked the bedroom door. He still looked like a dead stone and was shivering even though the heater in his room was on. He sat on his bed and checked his messenger. He saw Jimin was online. Jimin was never a trendy person, his busy schedule and lack of interest never really made him check his social network accounts often. The only time he logged in to messenger when he had to talk to Jungkook, otherwise he never bothered to reply to people's messages. 30 minutes passed, it was 11:30 pm, Jimin did not text Jungkook on messenger yet, even though Jungkook intentionally stayed online hoping Jimin would say something and then Jimin went offline without texting him 'good night, baby'.

Suddenly things were getting very clear to him. Last few days Jimin was online at night around 11 pm but did not send any messages to Jungkook. Jungkook had thought Jimin was maybe busy or trying to tease him but after today's incident he knew why he came online but did not bother to talk to him. It was Yun-hee. Jungkook knew they were connected on messenger. Since she lived abroad, it was a convenient medium to communicate. And then he also remembered Jimin mentioning Yun-hee and he talked for an hour. Also, he understood why Jimin did not get jealous today seeing him with Rossie, why he stopped calling him baby all of a sudden, why he stopped calling him at night and would only text goodnight, why Jimin was avoiding eye contact for last few days. Jungkook understood it all, even though all of it was his speculation but some of them were true. It was because of Yun-hee, Jimin was avoiding him, Jungkook felt a sudden ache in his chest thinking about it all. The pain was really deep and he was again fell short of breath.

His eomma entered his room, listening to her son's panting. She rushed towards him, "Honey, are you all right? What happened to you?"

Jungkook could not take it anymore, his mother's soft and caring voice made him feel even weaker and his tears were streaming down his face. She wrapped Jungkook into a tight hug and Jungkook put his head on her chest kept on crying like a broken sad soul. "Eomma, it hurts so bad. I can't breathe properly. Can you make it stop? Please make it stop."

"Who did this to my baby? Why are you crying so much? Won't you tell your eomma?" His mother brushed his hair and kissed on his head. Jungkook like a 2-year old baby wrapped his arms around his mother's waist, "Eomma, I love someone so much but that person does not want me anymore. I can't tell you any further."

"It's okay, baby but don't lose hope ever. Remember whatever happens, it happens for good. And no pain is constant, it goes away with time." Motherly sixth sense worked as she already guessed her son was heart broken.

"It's so hard to breathe now. My world won't be the same anymore. I want to sleep and never wake up again." Jungkook sobbed harder.

"Don't you dare say this again. Your Papa and I love you so much, we won't let anything happen to you. Let's go now eat something first and then sleep. You will feel better tomorrow."

"I don't want to eat, Ma. I will sleep now."

"Okay, I will stay with you tonight."

"No, I want to be alone, eomma."

She knew how her son was, she left him after kissing on his forehead, "I love you, my baby."

"Love you, Goodnight." Jungkook wiped off his tears.

The whole night, Jungkook could not sleep. Staring blankly at the ceiling, placing his left hand on his chest, his eyes were all wet from continuous crying and he shivered from the chills he felt inside his body. How they became so close to each other, their love grew faster and every moment he spent with Jimin, were flashing back. Moreover, when he thought he would not be able to experience any of that again and his Jimin was going to be someone else's forever, he curled up into a ball and sobbed like a child all night. "I wish I could stop this feeling, I wish I was stronger to overcome this pain." He mumbled to himself in a cracked voice.

Next day in the morning, Jungkook came to office early since he could not sleep the whole night. Suddenly, his willingness of going to work was vanished, he forced his body to attend office. He can still remember how excited he was when he first joined the company as an intern and suddenly, this office building seemed so unfamiliar and giving a bitter feeling. Jungkook was trying hard to focus on his work to avoid the thoughts of Jimin but he knew he had to face him anyway because they were, after all, colleagues.

"Good morning." Said the voice which did not feel familiar to Jungkook anymore. Any other day, they would flirt after greeting morning to each other.

"Morning." Jungkook murmured under his breath since greeting was a part of the office formalities but did not even look at him.

"Why didn't you receive my call last night? I was worried. It was not easy for me to leave you there alone but you left me with no choices." Jimin pretended like nothing happened between them, everything was still the same and bent to make an eye contact with him.

"Are we bound to receive each other's call after office hours?" Jungkook said bluntly, still not looking at his direction.

"Kookie, don't say like that. Am I only a colleague to you?" Jimin's voice cracked as he spoke. Jimin was hurting too but trying hard not to show but one little harsh behavior from Jungkook could pierce his heart easily.

"I thought you made yourself pretty clear last night what we are now. Please go back to your cubicle and let me work."

Jimin brushed Jungkook's hair forgetting that they were in office, "Won't you look at me?" Tears fell off Jimin's eyes and Jungkook shoved off his hand, "Please go to your desk, Hyung."

"You did not sleep well, right?" Jimin put his hand under Jungkook's chin to lift his face up to have a clear look of his Kookie's face, "No, you did not sleep at all, look at your face, you look so tired and weak." Jimin's hand was shaking as he said that, looking at Jungkook's dark circles and worn face, he understood Jungkook was going through hell because of him.

Jungkook's strong expression worn off as he saw Jimin crying. In a moment, his eyes were full of water too, "Haven't I told you to go back to your seat? Please go. I don't want to talk." Jungkook's lips trembled as he tried hard to stop the tears from falling.

"Can I not even look at you for a minute?" Jimin said in a soft tone still holding his chin.

"This is not the face you should be looking at anymore." Jungkook shoved his hand off again.

Stubborn Jimin still did not move an inch which made Jungkook to stand up from his seat, "You already chose your priority. Now excuse me, I will go and fetch few files from our SCM department." and Jimin stood there watching Jungkook leaving him behind. He was out of words too because he knew that the lively Jungkook he knew, went all quiet and looked soulless because of him. Jimin could not blame himself more for everything he caused to Jungkook, but the more Jungkook ignored him, the more Jimin wanted him closer.