The 65th Hunger Games - EDITING

Chapter forty-seven

 When the screen lights up to the seal of Panem, all doubts immediately goes away; this is going to be the hardest three hours of my life. I will have to watch everyone die for a second time. As if seeing it the first time was not enough. I would like to close my eyes, put my hands over my ears and curl up on my seat to completely shut off, but I can't.

I'm supposed to be grateful.

Just like every year, the first thirty minutes of the film are reserved to the pre-games event. I get to see the Reaping, the chariot parade, the training score and finally the interviews. They only showed what was related to me; the footage about my allies, but also of everyone I killed. It's pretty hard to see, especially knowing that they're all dead.

Of course, the film continues with the tributes entering the arena by the tubes. Pretty much everyone, except the careers and a few others, look frightened by the situation. I highly underestimated the number of cameras they placed inside of the arena; each and every angle is covered. Then, the first death occurs. Again. I finally understand what happened. I thought that the girl from twelve jumped off her pedestal because the idea of her imminent death seemed more pleasant than starvation, dehydration or murder. In her eyes, you can see the regret and the fear as she watches her token, a small wooden ball, fall onto the ground on her right. The explosion makes the camera shake a little, but it's far from depicting the actual force of the blast. Anyone could've fallen off its own pedestal; even me. I almost did after all. Of course, they don't show me struggling to regain full awareness of the situation; that's not the story they want to tell.

The film continues with the bloodbath. I watch the careers cold-heartily kill a few tributes. Then, to my surprise, I see Cedar kill the boy from twelve. He didn't attack or provoke him; he was just trying to run away and survive. I can't blame Cedar for doing this; I did way worse and I know he was trying to survive too. I still haven't completely processed it that a new sequence is shown on the screen. We can see the boy from two aggressively strangling me inside of the Cornucopia and Cedar running in to save the day. I still remember the horrible sensation I felt as his blood splattered everywhere on me. It then cuts to the girl from two, angrily removing a knife from someone's back as she watches her district partner die from afar. I was right about that; she really did hate me for what happened to him. It doesn't take long before the camera goes back to me and Cedar running through the woods, looking for our allies. They were still alive then. I see Viviana jumping into my arms, relieved I'm still there. The crowd look so amazed and in awe. I have to resist the urge of telling them to shut up, but of course, I can't. I simply lay back in my chair and wait for this to be over. The camera goes back to the Cornucopia, where the Careers are celebrating the death of the fallen tributes. They watch the hovercrafts picking up bodies in amazement. The crowds let out a small laugh as they watch the flying object come back a few times to pick up the remaining pieces of the girl from twelve. The sight of people actually enjoying this makes me sick.

The camera finally goes back to us. I remember that moment too well. I see myself watching the girl from three being strangled to death by the vines. I hear some people laughing, but again I ignore it.

Just ignore it and smile.

🔱

After twenty minutes of the Games' footage, the moment I dreaded the most arrives. My heart starts beating faster and faster as I watch the mutts approach their first prey. I wasn't exactly sure about how the little girl from eleven died, but now my doubts are confirmed. She met the same fate as her district partner. Luckily, I don't have to watch her being torn to pieces; the cameras cut back to my team as her scream and her canon echoes in the arena. Then, as if it was some sort of signal, the mutts start chasing us through the arena. I try to zoom out as a defense mechanism. I don't want to watch my allies die again. I try to concentrate on my breathing as I hear the way too familiar sound of the mutts' teeth crushing the bones of those with who I once was laughing with.

"I can't imagine how hard it must be for you to watch these images, Finnick. Would you mind telling use more about your point of view?" asks Caesar, a stupid smile on his face that I'm sure is meant to be reassuring.

At first, I don't know how to answer and frankly, I'm not sure I want to do so. I don't even know what I'm feeling or if there's even a word to describe it. Maybe I don't have any choice; after all, it may be the only way to distract myself from the gruesome footage that is playing on the gigantic screen.

"I'll have to admit that it wasn't easy. Let's just say that I wasn't planning on losing them so early and especially not like this. It was a very scary moment."

"I'm sure it was! Well, let me tell you, we are all glad that you made it! I'm sure a lot of people here were also pretty scared for you as they watched you trying to escape this trap." adds Caesar, making the crowd go wild.

"Oh, I'm sure no one was as scared as I was." I reply, laughing.

From the corner of my eye, I can see Mags calmly nodding; the message is clear. I'm good at faking.

"I also have another question for you; as we can see here, you collected the tokens of everyone you encountered and this raised a lot of questions around the Capitol. Can we know why?"

This is it. This is the occasion I was looking for. This may be the moment where I can finally do something right.

"Well, it's quite simple: I wanted to keep them. Let's just say that I wasreally, really disappointed when I learned that I couldn't." Ianswer looking at the cheering crowd, with a sad face.