The 65th Hunger Games - EDITING

Chapter fifty-two

When I wake up, the sun is already high in the sky. For a second, I forget where I am and almost start to panic. It doesn't take long for me to remember everything; how could I forget what happened for more than a few seconds? Before closing the door behind me, I take a last look at the room. The bed is still made as if I never slept there; I couldn't bring myself to go under the covers. I hear noise coming from downstairs. Mags is probably already up. I tiptoe to the kitchen, as if I still needed to hide. My mentor almost drops the plate on the ground when she sees me.

"Do I really look that bad?" I ask jokingly.

"I'm sorry, I didn't hear you. Have you been standing there for a long time?"she asks with a smile, probably glad that I have the energy to make jokes.

"I just woke up. I heard some noise so I came downstairs right away."

"Take a seat; I cooked a little something. Did you sleep well?"

"Yeah; it was fine," I answer with a forced smile while I walk to the table.

Again, we both know I'm lying. I got maybe an hour of sleep and it was horrible. I had a nightmare about Mags' son accusing me of trying to steal his mom. All of the tributes were there too. They all had something to accuse me of; honestly, I don't blame them. I have the feeling that every night is going to look like this from now on.

"Your parents dropped by earlier," she says, trying to change the subject.

"What? Why? What did they want?"

"They were looking for you. They seemed pretty scared. I told them you were sleeping upstairs, so they left for work."

"What did they say when they saw you?" I ask straightly, immediately regretting it when she gives me the death glare, indicating that I crossed a line. "What? I want answers; I need answers! Why can't you just tell me what's happening?"

"What do you want to know?" she asks after a long, uncomfortable moment of silence.

"Everything! What happened? Why? Am I in danger? Is my family in danger?"

"I don't know how to say this," she says, looking around. "There are rules that you have to respect and if you don't, well... they punish you in any way that they deem fit."

"They? You mean the Capitol?"

"Yes, Finnick. Remember what I told you before the Games about what happens if they're not satisfied with you? That's exactly what I was talking about. Let's just say that they were not too happy with me yesterday."

"I don't understand; what did you do that was so bad they had to do this?"

"I don't want to lie to you, so I'm going to be as straight as possible. They were angry because I made you come home early; a lot of people wished you could have stayed longer."

"Why? All of my interviews were done, I didn't have to stay any longer in the Capitol. What difference would it make if I was over there or here?"

"Finnick, I'm sorry, but I think there are things that you are not ready to hear. The world we live in is messed up and I don't think it's the right moment," she replies, holding her head between her hands.

"You literally just said that you wanted to be straight with me and now you're telling me that you don't even want to tell me the important things!" I angrily shout at her. "What's the point of saying that if you're not even going to do it?"

"Listen, you are not allowed to scream at me. Ever. There are things that you don't want to know. I'm just trying to protect you. I made a promise to your parents and I'm going to keep it, no matter the cost."

"Well you're certainly not doing me any good by keeping me in the dark."

"Trust me, you'll know soon enough and you'll wish you could back to when you didn't. Just trust me on this one. There are things that you should let the adults control."

I nod, indicating that I clearly understood the message; we are not to talk about this until she wants to. Even if I understand what she's trying to do, I'm still mad. I won the Hunger Games, I'm already broken, what worse could happen? I decide to ask one last question, even if the way Mags is looking at me clearly indicates that she is done answering.

"Is my family in danger?"

"As long as you do what they ask, they're going to be fine."

"I guess I can't know what they're asking for yet, right?"

"Eat your breakfast or it's going to be cold before it even reaches your mouth. It's not even comparable to what they served you in the Capitol, but I did my best, so eat up." she says, completely ignoring my last comment.

At least, she was right about one thing; her cooking skills aren't really good. I don't complain though; why would I? She took the time to cook for me and she probably hasn't done something like this in a long time. She is known for being a lonely person around the distrct and I don't doubt for a second that it's true. I'm still pretty angry that she doesn't want to tell me everything; I feel entilted to know things that could potentially put my familly or even myself in danger and I don't think I'm in the wrong for wanting reassurance. There is still a lot of questions that remain unanswered, probably even more than when I woke up, but I know that soon enough, we'll get there; I just have to be patient. Her warnings seemed pretty serious, just like the Capitol's. She helped me get out of the arena, she help me survived so maybe I could let myself put my life between her hands just once more. Hopefully no one else is going to get hurt. As she said, we live in a messed up world, a world where sending 24 kids into an arena full of dangers only one will survive is a celebrated event, a world where beating up a woman because she dared to help a broken child is normal. I'm not sure if I really want to live in this world anymore, but I have to at least give it a try. I have to do it for all the people who couldn't, all the people that where taken away too early; I owe it to them and their families. Happiness, something I had not felt in quite a long time takes over for a second, one little second, but it's enough to make me smile. Right now, at this exact moment, as Mags returns my smile, I know that everything is going to be just fine. Why? Because I will always have someone to help me go through the hard moments, I will always have someone to defend me, even if their own life is at stake and this, this is something that is way more valuable than anything else.

End of book one