Chapter Eleven

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when i'm deep inside of me

don't be too concerned

i won't ask for nothin' while i'm gone

but when i want sincerity

tell me where else can i turn

'cause you're the one i depend upon

honesty is such a lonely word

everyone is so untrue

honesty is hardly ever heard

and mostly what i need from you


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August 14, 2009



Beckett Mark had always imagined what it would be like to return to New York one day. From the moment her mother had informed her that the small family of four were moving to Westerville, Ohio she had started to plan her return. At first she had hoped that the move would only be for a year or so, just enough time for Holland to adjust to being a single parent after Rufus' sudden departure. Then she imagined herself returning just for holidays and breaks from school, enough time to spend with her friends and stay connected with those she was being forced to leave behind in Brooklyn. 

Then she had been diagnosed with cancer and her plans changed. Rather than one day returning to the city to continue her life, she imagined returning to mark the end. She had spoken to her mother, Stephanie, Jason, and Gina about what she wanted if she were to lose the fight to the disease. She told all of them how she wanted to be buried back in Brooklyn, that that was where she belonged and wanted to rest for eternity. It was then that Jason was allowed to reach out to Mildred, Mario, Stephanie, and Anthony to inform them of what had happened-- only then. But that didn't happen, she made it through to see the other side of the deadly disease. 

So now, at the age of seventeen, Beckett found herself finally able to achieve what she had dreamed of for nearly eight years. She once again found herself walking down the familiar city streets, taking in the details of all the little things that had changed. Her hands were shoved into the pockets of the thin hoodie she wore over her tank top and shorts-- her hair tucked behind her ears. She was once again a resident of New York and it just felt right.

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