delicate | ethma

7

Emma

Ethan and I did end up staying up all night together.

After everyone went back to the hotel, we all drank for a little while before Ethan and I settled in his room for the night.

He was quickly becoming one of my favorite people, and I knew that he was someone that I should keep in my life.

I don't want to lose him, so maybe jumping into a relationship isn't a good idea. If it ends I'll lose that friendship, and I think it's too important to me to risk it.

So, after our third round of the night, we laid down next to each other, and I propped myself up on my elbow.

"I think we need to talk about this," I said, pulling the covers up because I was getting cold.

Ethan looked at me before he sat up.

"I really like you, Emma."

"I really like you too. But I'm not sure I can commit to anything right now. I mean, I still don't know what I'm doing with my life. There's a lot I don't even know about myself. But our friendship is really important to me, and I don't want to lose that. I still want to be close with you."

Ethan didn't say anything for a minute, but then he ran his hand through his hair. "No, I get that. I completely understand. I wanna be close to you too, but if you don't want to be more than what we are, then we don't have to."

"Does that mean we can't hook up anymore?" I asked.

"Only if you don't want to. I'm okay with still hooking up with you if you do still want to."

"Okay, but we have to have rules."

"Rules?" Ethan asked.

"Yes. If either of us meets someone else that we like, then we'll be done. We have to tell each other if we're starting to catch feelings, and we'll either stop, or we'll go from there. Also we should exclusively sleep with each other. If either of us wants to hook up with someone else, then we don't have to hook up with each other anymore."

"Got it. Those are good rules."

"It's settled. Should we shake on it?" I said.

Ethan smiled as he reached out his hand, and I shook it. "So you still wanna be our photographer?"

"Yeah. I really enjoyed taking pictures this week. Should I start my own photography account?"

"Totally. That would be really cool. Maybe you'll book other artist's shows and stuff too. You'll become a famous photographer or something."

"Well, I'm kind of planning on staying with this one band I really like. The Reckless. Have you ever heard of them? The guitar player is to die for. He could definitely hit it for free," I flirted.

Ethan gently pushed my shoulder as he laughed. "Shut up, Emma. You're such a little flirt."

"Maybe I like you a little bit."

"Emma," he whispered before laying down. "Maybe someday we'll actually be together. For real."

"Maybe," I said. "For now I think this arrangement works best for the both of us. We can be together without being together, you know?"

"Yeah. I know. The most important thing to me is that we stay in each other's lives even if or when we do meet other people."

"We will, Ethan. I promise."

-

Ethan

I have to admit that I was disappointed about Emma not wanting the same type of relationship as I did.

But I knew it was best for her.

I was okay with us still hooking up because that meant we'd be together in some capacity.

I found hope in the fact that Emma said we might be together for real someday, but at least I'd be the only one she's seeing.

Even though Emma was in my arms as we fell asleep, I found that I was wide awake.

I was thinking about everything. I knew she was special, and I knew I really liked her. But for now we had to stay as best friends. She didn't want to be more than that. Well, that plus the sex.

I knew I could be in trouble with her. I like her too much to stay best friends. I knew it was only a matter of time before I either had to tell her how much I wanted to be together, or until I had to end our arrangement.

I already knew there wasn't anyone else I wanted to be with.

I couldn't lose hope quite yet, just because Emma said that it's still possible for it to work out between us someday.

Maybe it will. I'm really counting on that.

Finally, I fell asleep. When I woke up, Emma was still pressed tightly against me.

-

"So you guys aren't together then?" Enzo asked. We were eating lunch together.

Emma and Olivia were taking a girl's day, so I hung out with Enzo.

"It's complicated. She said she wants to be with me, but she feels like she needs to figure out her life a little bit before we jump into anything. So, we decided to stay close friends, but still hook up."

"One of you is going to get really hurt, E."

"I'm not saying that we're never gonna be together. We're just not jumping into something serious quite yet. I mean, Emma and I are both so young. I'm 21, she's 19. We also made it a rule that we have to tell each other our feelings, and if we meet someone else we like, we'll be done."

"Ethan, listen. I'm sorry, but I know how much you like her. What happens if she finds someone who isn't you? I think that's gonna hurt you more than you realize it will."

"At least I'll be the only one seeing her for now."

"Just be careful, okay? You're a good guy."

"Emma's a great girl. I think I'll be okay."

In all honesty, I knew this wasn't the greatest idea on the planet. But I was happy as long as Emma was only seeing me.