delicate | ethma

24

Emma

"Is there something going on with Ethan?" I asked Olivia.

She shrugged, eating a pretzel from the bowl. Olivia and I were having a girls night out, and the bar we always went to served pretzels in little bowls. "I don't know. Why?"

"He just seems kind of sad lately, but he hasn't told me that anything's wrong," I said, staring at the pretzel bowl. "It's just—he told me about this girl, and I can't figure out if he was talking about me, or if he was talking about a girl he never told me about. It sounds like she broke his heart, and now I just want him to be happy. Even if it wasn't me, I wish I could somehow just fix it for him, you know?"

"You care about him a lot. He's one of your best friends," Olivia said.

"Do you think he would tell me if it was me?"

"I don't know if he would. Hell, I don't even know if he would tell anybody. I know that he really just wants you to be happy, and I know he really likes Daniel for you."

"But is he doing okay? He just seems distant from himself."

"He does seem a little down."

"The night Daniel proposed to me, Ethan seemed like something was bothering him. He was just—so quiet. Like after the show. He's always in a good mood after his shows, but that night was just different."

"Yeah. I remember that."

"Do you think he'd be honest with me about his feelings? If I asked him about it? Or do you think he'd keep it to himself because he wants me to be happy?"

"That's something that can't really be predicted, Em. If you ask, he'll answer if he wants to."

I look down at my untouched margarita and take a small sip. "I just want him to be happy again," I said. "I don't like seeing him like this."

"I know you don't, Emma. Just be a friend to him, and support him when he needs it. He'll be okay if we're all supporting him."

I nodded, taking another sip through my straw.

-

Once in a while, Ethan would be my assistant/photography buddy when I had a gig. Daniel was at a conference in Los Angeles for his work, so Ethan offered to help me with this gig.

Plus I knew it was good for him to take a break and do something fun, and he liked helping me out with projects.

It was a smaller artist based in Denver, but the venue was pretty big. I got front row tickets due to me being the official photographer for the concert.

I knew Ethan was having a hard time with something, but I didn't want to pry. He'd tell me if he absolutely needed or wanted to.

So, I just did my best to support him, and to look out for his well being. Mostly by hanging out with him, or checking in on how his day was going that day.

Stormy was good for Ethan too. She kept him busy while he was at home, and she was a good emotional support for him.

I mean, you can tell your dog anything. It's not like they can tell anyone what you said to them, so they're the best secret keepers. And they'll love you no matter what it is that's wrong.

I was happy to see Ethan being himself at this concert. Dancing along to the songs, singing to the ones he knew. I almost wanted to take pictures of him having fun, but that wasn't what my job was for this concert.

It made me happy that I could at least cheer him up for a day. I wanted him to be happy. He deserved it more than anyone.

Olivia and Jordan met up with us after the concert, and we hung out at one of our regular bars.

Sitting in a booth and drinking, the four of us had a blast. Ethan and I were both too drunk to drive home when the night ended, so we ended up taking a cab back to his house.

His couch could be turned into a bed, so we got that set up, so I could just crash at his place.

He sat next to me, and we watched tv for a little while. Stormy was laying between where we were both sitting, and her head popped up when my phone started ringing.

It was Daniel. I got up and went to the kitchen to answer it.

"Hey,"

"Hey, babe. How was the concert?"

"It was good."

"Good. How's Ethan doing?"

"He's okay."

"Are you home now?"

I glanced back at the living room, seeing Ethan looking down at Stormy. Ethan didn't know how attractive he was.

I'm still drunk.

"I'm crashing at Olivia's," I said.

"Oh. Okay. Have a good night, okay? I love you."

I smiled. "I love you too. See you on Tuesday," I said.

"Okay. Goodnight."

"Goodnight," I said, hanging up before walking back to the living room and sitting back down. Ethan glanced at me as he patted Stormy on the top of her head.

"Is everything okay?" He asked.

"Yeah. Daniel just called to say goodnight," I said.

Ethan nodded. "Oh. Okay," he said.

Glancing down at Stormy, I became brave. "Ethan, have you been okay?"

He furrowed his eyebrows. "What do you mean?"

"You've just—you seem kind of down lately, and I wanted to make sure you're okay,"

Ethan stared down at Stormy, who we were both petting. He looked like he was contradicting himself about what he wanted to say. His face didn't match his words.

"I'm okay, Emma," he said.

"You know you can tell me anything, right? That's what I'm here for. To be here for you," I said. "I just feel like something's been bothering you, and I feel like a bad friend for not knowing what it is."

Ethan's finger bumped mine, but neither of us moved away for a whole minute. Looking into his eyes, feeling his warm finger against my pinky, I felt a feeling that was hard to ignore.

I felt those pushed away thoughts about Ethan suddenly appear in the forefront of my mind.

"It's okay, Emma. You're not a bad friend. It's just not really something that you should worry too much about. I'm okay," he said.

A little while later he went to his room to go to sleep, and I fell asleep knowing there was a reason I lied to Daniel, but not being able to tell myself what that reason was.