delicate | ethma

35

Emma

My dad has the most wisdom out of anybody I've ever met.

And I'm not just saying that because he's my dad.

He's also one of the most kind, loving, supportive people I've ever known. No matter what, I could tell him anything and he'd make me feel like I wasn't alone, or like I wasn't a terrible person when I felt like one.

He was the one I went to when I cut my own hair in second grade. He was the one I went to when I felt worthless, when I felt guilty, or when I simply needed advice.

He was there for my first heartbreak, my driver's test, and my first plane ride.

So, I knew I could go to him for anything. I could go to him for advice about this dilemma I've been in.

I didn't give him the details, but I did tell him that I felt like there were dreams I had that were more than marrying Daniel. Dreams that didn't even involve Daniel.

He told me a few different things, one of them being the same as Olivia told me.

1.) Nobody is forcing you to get married except for you. 2.) You can't choose love, it just happens and there's nothing you can do about it. And 3.) You have until the moment the preacher says speak now to decide that you don't want to get married.

I was grateful for the fact that Daniel and I were planning a very small wedding, because that would save us the embarrassment of having to cancel the wedding in front of a ton of people.

We only had around 30 people coming.

Still, everyday I was spending with Daniel, I couldn't figure out when or how to give him the letter.

The months leading up to the wedding, I spent so much time with family, and so much time wedding prepping, that I honestly didn't have time to think about it.

The next thing I knew, I was standing in the mirror on my wedding day, holding the envelope for my almost-ex in my hand.

I still didn't know how to do this.

I knew Daniel was already waiting at the end of the aisle for me. I knew I couldn't face him today.

We were getting married at his grandparents house, so his dressing room was in the other bedroom across the hall. I walked into that room and set my note down on the pillow before walking out and shutting the door behind me.

I went back into my room.

But not before Olivia stopped me in the hallway. "Emma, are you okay?"

I guess I didn't realize I was crying. This was the first day of the rest of my life.

But in the evilest way possible.

I bet you were expecting me to make it down the aisle, and then you expected Ethan to stop the wedding in the most dramatic way possible.

That's what we made you believe, right?

That's not the way it went. But he did still save me from getting married that day.

Here's what really happened.

"I left the note on his pillow. Can you tell him I'm not coming?"

Liv pursed her lips, giving me a nod. "As gently as I can."

I went back into my room, and found my phone.

I pulled up Ethan's contact, and I sent the message. I said the words.

Emma: upstairs, third door to the left. I need you to save me.

That was the easiest way out I could think of. I wouldn't be able to break it to him in person. To Daniel.

Ethan came into the room within five minutes, his arms instantly wrapping around me. "Should we get out of here?"

I nodded. "Quickly."

So, I gathered my things, and we left.

As a kid, you dream about your life as an adult. What it's gonna be like, the things you'll do, the people you'll meet, the places you'll go.

Out of everything I ever imagined, I never expected to run away from my own wedding.

But I knew it was the right decision when Ethan was driving us away and I didn't even look back.

We made it to a hotel outside of the Colorado border in Wyoming, and I turned my phone off for the night, not wanting to answer my phone.

But not before I texted my parents to let them know I was okay. And Olivia.

Surprisingly, I felt more relieved than anything, knowing Ethan and I were together now, and there wasn't anything we wouldn't do for each other.

He's the love of my life. There's no denying that.

I changed into comfortable clothes before laying down on the hotel bed. Ethan changed into comfy clothes too.

"How you feeling?" He asked, tracing the hem of the sleeve on my t-shirt.

"Relieved," I said. "Like I made the right choice. Like the hardest part is over."

"I love you so much," he whispered. "I'm sorry I didn't tell you the second I knew."

I kissed the tip of Ethan's nose before placing my hand on his cheek, stroking my thumb across his skin as I looked into his eyes. "We're here now, aren't we?"

"We made it through everything," Ethan said. "I'm never gonna let you get away again."

I smiled as we laid there, holding onto each other. Ethan finally pulled me all the way in, our chests pressing together as he finally, finally, kissed my lips for what felt like the first time ever.

I had never felt more loved, more wanted, more known. There wasn't anything Ethan and I didn't know about each other.

Finally, every moment of fear, worry, wonder and heartbreak was over.

This time it wasn't just a fling. It wasn't just for play. It was real, unconditional, infinite and permanent.

I didn't care how much I had to go through. This was finally our time, and every second of it was worth it to get here.