delicate | ethma

12

Emma

I didn't think it was anything. I really didn't.

That's why I didn't tell Ethan. I thought it would be just a photography gig.

His name was Austin Pruitt, and he was a still-underground but up and coming country singer, based around Denver. I was supposed to meet him and his manager at a small local coffee shop to discuss everything about his upcoming concert that I was taking pictures for.

 I walked into the coffee shop, finding the two guys at a table in the back. They both stood up as I walked towards them.

"Hello. I'm Emma," I said, as one of them reached out their hand for me to shake.

"Nice to meet you, Emma. I'm Austin, and this is my manager Brooks."

Brooks took my hand after Austin, giving me a smile as we greeted each other. He didn't seem much older than me. Maybe early to mid-twenties.

Austin seemed about my age too.

We all sat down, and ordered our coffees.

They were both really nice, running through the things I needed to know about Austin's show. I had a similar plan to when I shot photos for Ethan and the boys, where I would be in the audience for the first half, and backstage for the next. 

The three of us actually sat there for a while talking, and I found out that they used to live in Texas. Makes sense with their manners and slight accents.

I found out that Austin was indeed my age, his 20th birthday being two weeks before mine would be.

Brooks was 23. 

I found myself really listening to everything he had to say. He seemed so cool, and so smart. So intriguing I guess you could say. He had blue eyes that were the same shade as mine. 

If Ethan and I weren't going to be together, I'd totally see if Brooks would want to hang out with me.

I went home that night, having a new phone number in my contacts, and a question in my mind. 

If Ethan really loved me, wouldn't he have said so by now? Wouldn't he want more in our relationship that just sex and quiet meals in his apartment? I mean, he's my best friend, but shouldn't there be more at this point?

I couldn't sleep that night, knowing I had to do something. 

That week, Ethan and I hung out one night, and it felt like we were just going through the motions of the routine. You know?

I wanted so badly for him to finally just tell me everything. I wanted to know how he felt. If I was on the verge of having someone else in my life, I needed to know.

We fell asleep naked in his bed, and I wondered if this was one of the last times. I had a sinking feeling in my heart.

The concert was actually really good. Austin was a great country artist, and I had a lot of fun backstage while I was taking pictures.

Brooks and I seemed to get along really well. It felt normal to be around him.

So, at the afterparty he asked me on a date. 

I instantly thought of Ethan, but realized if we were meant to be, it would've happened by now.

I told Brooks yes.

I knew that Ethan and I could only be friends from now on.

-

Ethan

It was midnight when someone knocked on my door. Emma wasn't here tonight, but I had this gut feeling it was her that was at my doorstep.

So, I threw some sweatpants on and made my way to the door.

I didn't even have time to say hi to her, and her lips were on mine.

I tried to say hi, but she told me to be quiet as I shut the door to my apartment.

I wondered why she was coming to my place so late for this. Wasn't the concert tonight?

Clothes were thrown off throughout my apartment until Emma and I were naked in my bed. She was acting like there wasn't any time for anything. It was all so rushed. It was like she needed me, and she needed me now.

I went with it for the first round, but made sure that we took the second round slow. I needed slow.

It was all so emotional. I didn't know why. She didn't seem angry, but she didn't seem happy. Maybe there was a hint of sadness in her.

I was just confused as to what was going on. When we finished, Emma crawled out from under me, laying down next to me, but facing away. 

I watched her lay there, wondering why this was so different from our usual nights together. Why did she seem to be in such a hurry? Why did she seem so upset?

Why did she feel so distant?

And then she started crying. It started quietly, her back heaving up and down with quiet sobs. I immediately put my arms around her, pulling her back to my chest.

"Talk to me, Emma. Tell me what's going on. I'm here. I promise."

She put her face in her hands, starting to cry a little bit harder.

"I don't know if I can do this anymore," she said. 

"What's wrong?"

"I just can't do this," she said, getting up from the bed and starting to gather her clothes. "I gotta go."

"Emma, please just stay here. I don't want you driving all the way home when you're this upset."

"I can't stay here. Not right now. I gotta go."

And she left before I could even process it all.

-

Emma

"Emma, what's going on?" Olivia asked when I got home. 

I was still crying. 

In fact, I'm pretty sure I cried the whole drive home from Ethan's place."

"Ethan texted me, saying that you're upset. He asked me to tell him when you got home safely." Olivia said.

I just nodded, sniffling my nose. "I'll explain tomorrow," I said. "I just need to sleep."

I went to my room, not even bothering to put on pajamas before I climbed into my bed.

I cried myself to sleep. Ethan and I weren't going to be together. We couldn't be. He would've said it by now, right?

My heart shattered that he didn't say anything when he had the chance.