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In case you can't read it.
One (I have no clue what One looks like in this AU so canon look) : Two, let me tell you somethin'. I love ya like a table.
Two (no clue how she looks either) : Ha- But you usually don't like those things very much. You just use them.
One : .... *silence*
Two : Wait-
In case you don't get it, which you probably don't, let me explain the whole entire joke.
You don't usually like tables that much in a loving way, you really don't have emotions towards them. You just see them as objects that you can use for your benefit, welfare, and convenience.
So you're using it.
For people's terms, when you're using a person, that means a person who uses a friend or acquaintance solely for the purposes of a type of advantages, to play with someone like a tool to get your work done and forget them without continuing any relationship, using somebody for their own benefit.
Saying "I Love You Like A Table" would be implying that you're using the person.
