Forbidden Love » a.i. (completed)

Chapter Thirty

I'm going to apologize in advance.

_____

Ashton

(one year later)

My laptop was on my lap as I was positioned on my bum in my bed. It's been a whole year now since she left, and it gets worse everyday. Right now I'm on her Twitter looking through the pictures of her and her boyfriend, kissing, hugging you name it. It was painful looking through these and seeing her with a smile on her face. I guess I never made her happy enough to smile the way she does with this guy. If I could, I would do this all over again. I would start fresh. I would either make us work, or not make us happen at all. It was too hard to forget someone you are in love with.

I didn't even noticed the silent tears that were falling down my face as I scrolled through her feed. She doesn't get on often, but when she does, I see it. I see what she says about her day or what she did. I see what she says about her perfect boyfriend taking her to her favourite bands concert. I see what she says about loving him to pieces and never feeling this way about anybody else. I see it all.

Should I read it? No, I shouldn't. Should I care anymore? No, but I do. The thing that makes me read all her posts is the fact that she never once texted me, emailed me, called me, or did anything over this past year. I never got a simple text saying, "I hate you" or anything. I wanted to know if she was safe and okay, but I have to find out from Luke and Sarah. She texts them everyday, but didn't have the nerve to text me. I wanted to hear her voice one last time.

Let's go over this past year. For starters, Luke and Sarah are happily together, which I think is cute, but dreadful at the same time. It's hurtful to see him with the girl of his dreams while mine's snogging her new boyfriend countries away. I still remember the way her lips felt against mine and how they tasted. Secondly, both Mikey and Cal have girlfriends now, too (even though everyone says their girlfriends are just cover ups for their relationship). Everybody is perfectly happy, except for me. I sit in my room every single day wallowing in grief.

I shut my laptop quickly and set it on the table beside me. I didn't want to look at him and her anymore. It was fair that he gets to make her happy, when I never got the chance to. She never gave me the chance to wrap her in my arms and make her stay with me. I would've dropped everything to be with her, and have her stay here. I guess it just wasn't meant to be. Maybe she didn't love me the way she said she did. I meant every word I ever said, but I have the feeling she didn't.

My mind flashed back and forth to the pictures we took. I gabbed my phone that was sitting next to me and scrolled through all our pictures. One of them stood out the most. We both were lying in my bed, in the morning, but she was asleep. I snapped the picture because that was the morning after I told her I loved her. She was so peaceful, and so beautiful; I just couldn't help myself. I told myself I would keep it forever, and so far, I did. I haven't deleted any pictures even though Luke tells me to. He tells me what's best for me, but what's best for me is thousands of miles away.

Speaking of Luke, he barged through my door with his phone in his hand, "Ash, we have to go to the studio. The team finally rescheduled our time for today since you didn't want to go months ago. We're going to be singing your song. Come on, get up and get ready!"

I looked up at him, "I don't feel good Luke. I'll meet you there later."

He rolled his eyes and shut my door so Sarah wouldn't hear him. Sarah currently lives with us since she is our tour management. She rides on the tour bus and keeps us in line. "We're worried about you, Ashton. The boys haven't seen you in months because all you ever do is stay in your bed. You got to get up and forget about the past."

I covered my face with a pillow so he would leave me alone, "Just go away."

He came to my side and pulled the pillow away from me. "I'm not taking a no for an answer. You never show up to the studio anymore, and we can't release our album until we recorded your parts. You never talked about having her when you were in high school. All you ever wanted was to drum in a band, and now that we're getting big, you're dropping that. You're destroying us, Ash. I want you to wake up and realise, she left you. Then I want you to get up out of this filthy bed and show her what she's missing. We're going to record today, and then tomorrow we're going to the talk show. You're going to show up looking pretty and perfect, and not care about Alexandria anymore. She's gone, and now you've got to get moving."

I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. He was right, which I hated to admit. Luke was the best with advice, I just never wanted it. Now that he was standing here, waiting for me to get up, I had no choice but to swing my legs over the bed and get up to my feet. He smiled and patted my back. "See you in a few."

He left my room, and I was tempted to lie back down. I shook my head and thought about what he said. I have to show her what she's missing. I'm not going to let her get the best of me when I could go out right now and have girls screaming for autographs. My life isn't what I expected, but it's good. She was one heartbreak I'd have to get over. No more bothering to message her whenever I missed her insanely. No more waiting for a phone call I knew I would never get. No more waiting around. Time to get back out there.

____

Sarah

"What did he say to you?" I asked as I was seated on the couch with my phone to my ear. I was waiting to call Alex when Luke left to get Ashton. I figured it would take awhile to get him out of bed, so I called her up since she was texting me about her boyfriend of eight months.

"He called me a slut and that nobody could ever love me." she sobbed into the phone. I closed my eyes and just thought back to the time when she would be happy every single day after being with Ashton. She would never be crying, she would always be smiling and just always have a good mood. Now, she's breaking to pieces. She's hurt and isn't happy with this guy she's with, but she's been with him so long, she's scared to leave him. She and him fight every single day, but he always tells her he'll protect her and would never hurt her. I told her otherwise, but she never listened.

"You should come out here love, everybody misses you."

She sighed deeply, "I can't right now. He's coming home tonight, and I need to work this out with him. I'll text you what happens tomorrow morning alright? Love ya!" she hung up the phone and I sat there in shock. After everything he has said to her, she still wants to stay with him.

"Was that her?" I heard a saddened voice from behind me. I quickly turned around and saw Ashton with his hands in his pockets and tears on his cheeks, "Was that her?" he repeated, this time looking directly at me. He looked so broken, it was hurting me.

"Yes, it was."

He ran his fingers through his hair, "What did she say?"

"I don't think-"

"Sarah, what did she say?" he demanded.

"She isn't happy with her boyfriend. He calls her names and says really mean stuff to her. She told me she's going to try and work it out again."

His eyes filled with tears as he looked to the ground. I knew he was upset hearing the love of his life wasn't happy. All he wanted was for her to have a smile on her face every morning she woke up. He knew he could've made her happy, but he also knew she didn't want him.

—

Ashton

As I heard Sarah say those words, my heart crumbled. Everything I ever wanted for her was disappearing. How could a guy do something like that to her? It wasn't fair for her to go through that. I would've made her the happiest girl on the world if I could. My chance is gone now. She wants to be with him because she loves him. Her words never meant anything.

-edited-