PLEASE MY MIND | Daniel seavey

OUTSIDE CHAOS, INSIDE LOVE

10 AM

I woke up to loud noises from outside. Branches were hitting the window, making loud tapping noises. I crunched up a little to look at the trees outside, which were swinging left to right. The howling sound of the wind was frightening. It didn't took long before rain was pouring down like it hadn't gotten the possibility to do so in months. Once in a while the room led up by lighting, followed by roaring thunder. How forceful the rain splashed around made it seem like this sudden storm would never come to an end. Even though storms seem alarming, for me it's peaceful. Being dry, warm and safe whilst glaring at the opposite. It doesn't feel like you're the only one surrounded by chaos, everyone is. Everyone experiences the chaos that is life, but now not held back by fake smiles. I re-said that in my head...mmm, no that didn't make sense whatsoever Ash! Give up being the pathetic desperate poetic. I giggled, I really had a way of wording things weirdly.

I flipped the blanket and hopped off the bed, making my way to the kitchen. I looked at my phone to see Zach calling me. Z: "Hey." A: "Hey Zach." I sat down on the couch and stared at the ceiling as I listened to Zach loud breathing. A: "Are you okay?" Z: "Yeah, why?" A: "You sound hella out of breath." He ignored my concern and continued. Z: "I wondered if..." A: "If what?" Z: "If you could come over today? I-.I..want us to be like we used to be. Before David even was in the picture. I miss it Ash." A: "I miss it too Zach. But you have to promise me, that..." I wanted to ask him, if he could be chill, if he could respect the fact that life was more than him and his bubble, his problems. I was always there for him, but if he wanted us to be best friends like we once were. Then he had to let go of shit he knew he couldn't entirely fix. He had to make room for himself, to grow and just...frankly...chill out. No lies...just respect and love. I didn't know how to put it. His buttons were easily pushed, did I really want to risk that? Z: "I'll promise that I'll not make this about me, about...you know...the shit that happened. If that's what you're asking. All I want is to laugh, to smile and to genuinely enjoy what is yet to come, instead of focussing on what I could've changed in the past." He said, slowly. Thank god. He understood. A: "Thank you Zach. I'll be there in 30." Z: "Holy- alright." I laughed. 

Why the rush Ash? you may ask. Well, I just really was in the mood to talk about everything other than -life's shit-. Referring to last night as an example.

I opened Daniel's bedroom door slowly as I saw him passed out asleep. I tapped his shoulder, not wanting to leave without saying goodbye. He gave no reaction. Gosh dammit. I grabbed a  pillow and slapped him solfly with....well softly? His eyelids slowly opened and he mumbled  a bit. A: "I'm going to hang out with Zach for a bit. I'll see you soon, okay?" As we were quite new in our relationship, we weren't together all the time, but that was nice. There was room to breath, room to take this slowly and enjoy the ride as it brought me closer and closer to his heart. D: "Okay." he mumbled, half asleep as he pulled his blanket all the way up to his ear. Cuddling up in the sheets. I sighed, realizing this was the only reaction I was going to get out of him for now. I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek. He mumbled again, inaudibly. A: "alright, I'll take that as a sign to leave." D: "I said, you're cute." He whispered, barely understanding what he said I giggled and brushed his hand of mine. A: "Alright sleepy head. Bye!".