PLEASE MY MIND | Daniel seavey

TIRED

I threw myself onto his bed. Not sure if I even wanted to stay. I had so many emotions. I had so many questions. Tonight was a rollercoaster for more than only me. And I felt like I had to deal with everyones pain, guilt, sadness and anger. I kicked my shoes in the corner of the room and planted my face in a pillow. It smelt like him. I rolled my head, looking at the pictures on the wall. Many concerts pictures, him with his instruments, his friends, fans and... there's me. An very old picture. The first night we met. And owh gosh, the night that shit went down. I quickly tried thinking about something else, before I was rethinking the last year of my life. 

I was facing the other side of the room when Daniel walked in and sighed loudly. He went to the bathroom, throwing his clothes everywhere. He mumbled a few curse words, but I ignored it. I closed my eyes and just wanted to sleep, even if it was just for pretend. I heard his footsteps getting closer, I opened my eyes slightly as I saw him in his Calvin Klein boxers pacing around the room. His muscular arms folded and his very hairy legs kicking his clothes to the side. I felt the matras sinking a bit behind my back as I figured he had layed down beside me. My body was already numb, only my thoughts weren't silenced and my hearing was still very clear. I couldn't bare pulling my eyelids up anymore, that's the level of tiredness I'm at. I waited for his hands to hold me, but he didn't. He kept moving around in the bed. D: "Ash?" I heard him loud and clear, but I really didn't have the energy to talk about the shit that just happened. D: "Are you asleep?" Well for fucks sake I'm trying Daniel...D: "I'm sorry. So sorry about her." He whispered. D: "If you even knew how messed up she is. She was nothing to me and I was nothing to her. It was only 2 times. And so meaningless. Before I even knew of you" I listened to his soft voice carefully. The embarrassment was to be heard. 2 times, 2 times sex? That's...not how she described it, I thought. I really didn't care, I have had sex before to. He really thought I was mad, I wasn't, I had no reason to be..not at him at least. I was just tired, tired of everyone being so unbelievably dramatic, weird and rude today. Sara, Kian, Alex bla bla bla. D: "I love you." his arms finally wrapped around my waist and I smiled, although he couldn't see, because I faced the other way, I still wanted to show him that it was okay. I moved my hand slightly so it touched his. His warm body was now cuddled up against me and his legs fitted perfectly in my curled up legs. His hand brushing mine. 

Sometimes I wonder if some people are choosing to be problematic or genuinely don't think they are being a burden whatsoever? But I guess, you can never really be in line with everyone, can you?