PLEASE MY MIND | Daniel seavey

I CAN'T, NOT NOW

5th day in the hospital. The bright spot lights were tiring my eyes. The constant peeping of the machinery were working on my nerves. I never felt this weak. I was taking lots of pain stillers, which reduced the pain, but made me feel numb. I felt lost. I missed my mom, my friends. They've all been so busy, still calling me, but I demanded that they didn't have to come over. All though most didn't listen, they all came over a lot, making sure that I was more than fine. I was so sleepy, mostly I wasn't even there mentally to communicate with them. I didn't wanna worry them nor my mom. Although I feel...miserable. It didn't matter that all the medicine numbed the pain, I could still feel the constant tension of my muscles, the turning of my stomach. My organs failing. They still didn't know what was wrong with me. But I knew it was the worst kind of pain, I've ever experienced. A kind, I didn't know for how long I could bare. 

"We have the results back." The nurse shoved the stool next to the bed and gave me my medicine as she opened some papers with her other hand. A: "And?" "It's likely that you've been infected by an unknown disease, that is attacking your intestines aggressively, decreasing the nutrients in your blood flow." I looked down, not sure what to say. A: "will it get better?" She swallowed suspiciously. "It's-. We're not sure how to treat it correctly yet. Keep us updated on your aches okay?" I nodded. But thought; how was I able to update them on anything, when the symptoms never stopped, It never had gotten less. I was only numbed. She left, leaving the papers on the side table. A: "Wait, you forgot the-" She was already gone. I sighed. pulling up the sheets and staring at the ceiling. I felt to ill to cry, to give in to my emotions. My phone rang, I moved my finger slightly as it was in hand reach. 

?: "Is this Ash Grimaldi?" A: "Yes...hi? Who's this?" ?:"Hello, you're talking with the London police service. It's deputy chief, Stuart." My heart stopped. ?:"We have some tragic news. We are so so sorry to inform that your mother has gotten in a car accident whilst traveling in a cab to said-hotel. She is now kept in a stable condition, in coma." I tried keeping it professional, but after he told me further details, I told him I had to hang. A: "I-..."I'm sorry. I-have to hang" I threw my phone away. It smashed against the wall, which was not my intention. My hands shivering, emotions all over the place.  I felt so out of control. Why? What is happening. I wanted to scream it out in pain.