Those Blurry Lines

Chapter 08

Chapter 08

Doubt

Naninikip ang dibdib ko. Hindi ko maintindihan kung bakit may namumuong galit sa puso ko. The loud music doesn't excite me anymore. Hinihingal ako sa inis. I went back to my friends on the couch and immediately drank a shot glass of tequila.

Napahugot ako ng hininga nang gumuhit ito bigla sa tiyan ko. Pinapakiramdaman ko ang sarili pero hindi pa rin sapat. I refilled the glass and drank it again.

"Huy, hinay-hinay lang," awat ni Jesther. "What's the matter?"

Umiling ako. "Wala."

He seemed hesitant to believe me. I sat down and calmed myself down.

So what? I mean, we don't have a connection after all but why do I care so much about his little affair downstairs? Dahil ba hindi niya ako pinansin? O baka sa kasama niya.

But both options don't make sense at all! Maybe I'm just drunk. I nonchalantly nodded. Yes, I think I'm just drunk.

"Pare," bati ni JB kay Jesther nang makalapit sa table namin.

"Uy, wazzup," ani Jesther.

JB looked at me. "Are you okay?"

I quickly nodded. "Y-Yeah."

"She's drunk," si Jesther.

Kahit nasa wisyo naman ay hindi na ako nakipagtalo. Hindi ko lang talaga maintindihan ang nararamdaman ko ngayon. Nagpaalam na siya at bumalik sa mesa niya.

His friends were there, including Jackson na kakabalik lang. I stared at him, probably questioning myself why on earth am I thinking?

I just stared at him but he never stared back.

Naging palaisipan iyon sa akin paglipas ng ilang araw. I'm also curious why I acted like this. Maybe, I was just used to Jackson doing everything to greet me.

But he seemed cold. Habang nakatulala sa labas ng bintana ko, lagi kong tinatanong ang sarili kung bakit ako nagkakaganito. Why does he have that kind of effect on me? Is it because I appreciate him?

Nagulat ba ako? Bakit naman ako magugulat na normal lang naman na may kasama sa bar. I've seen him a lot of times flirting with a girl before. But now, it's different.

Lutang na lutang ako habang naglalakad sa SEC walk. Papunta ako sa klase ko nang nakita ko si Jackson na naglalakad rin. Makakasalubong ko siya.

It's weird because I am always confident. Now, I don't know what to do. Kaya yumuko nalang ako at inihanda ang sarili.

"New friend!" umalingawngaw ang boses niya.

Nag-angat ako ng tingin at tiningnan siya mata sa mata. Nakangiti siya tulad ng lagi niyang ginagawa. Tumango lamang ako at nilagpasan siya.

"Anong problema?" pahabol niya pa pero nagpatuloy na ako sa paglalakad.

Naninibago na nga sina Maybel at Yumi dahil hindi ko na siya pinapansin. Usually, I would always fire back. Now, it seems like he became a ghost.

"Okay ka lang?" Maybel asked.

I furrowed my brows. "Of course. Ba't naman ako hindi magiging okay?"

She only smiled at me. I became distant and colder towards the people around me. Lagi kong iniisip kung bakit ako nagkakaganito.

Is it because he's not giving me the same attention that he gave to that girl? But why?

"Wazzup!" bati niya nang huminto sa tapat ng mesa namin kagaya ng lagi niyang ginagawa.