Those Blurry Lines

Chapter 29

Chapter 29

Reconciliation

Life comes in unexpected ways. It will surprise you. It will break you. It will crush you down. It will leave you breathless.

Before, I had decided to live a life of rebellion. Annoying all the people around me was my ultimate goal. But now, I have a purpose. I have found the meaning of life.

Ika nga, huwag magsalita ng tapos.

Who would have thought that I'll be holding Jackson's hand as we went inside the International Airport. Marami ang tao pero tahimik.

Nahinto ako sa paglalakad at hinarap siya. He held my hand tighter that it made me smile.

"Kailangan ko na ba talagang umalis?" tanong niya.

I rolled my eyes. "Ang OA, ha. Parang hindi nagkawalay ng ilang taon."

Pupunta siya sa China at doon magpapasko. Bibisitahin niya raw ang Lolo at Lola niya. His family will soon come after him.

He smiled. "Siyempre, iba na ngayon."

Sumimangot ako. "OA ka lang talaga."

Last night was magical. After he kissed me, we went back to our own condominiums. Kumatok ako kanina sa unit niya at nagpresenta na ihatid siya. We never said a word, but we both knew that something has changed.

Still, hindi pa rin iyon sapat. Mas maganda pa rin na sabihin niya sa 'kin. Pero okay na rin ito.

"Kailan ka babalik sa Pinas?" tanong niya.

"I still don't know. I need to finish all of the work here. Maybe next year na? Ewan, hindi ko alam."

Pinaglaruan ng kamay niya ang mga daliri ko. "Pero babalik ka, 'di ba?"

Tumango ako. "Yes, I will."

"Pagdating ko sa China, tatawagan ka namin ni Bobby."

Binitawan ko ang kamay niya at nagbuntong-hininga. "You're insane."

Natawa lamang siya. Dahan-dahan siyang lumapit sa 'kin at hinalikan ang noo ko. A lot of people noticed it but I did not feel any awkwardness.

"I'll call you when I arrived," he said.

I nodded and smiled. Hinawakan niya ang strolley niya at ngumiti sa akin bago naglakad papalayo.

Just as he was about to enter, he glanced at me and waved his hand. I waved back, too.

The kiss was amazing, but I craved for something different.

Ever since, I was forced to be independent. I lacked guidance from my parents that I started to rely on my own. But having Jackson, I started to share everything slowly.

Then I realized, it's not bad to open yourself to people. Maybe the reason that I felt so heavy is that I did not ask for help.

I was selfish. I am selfish. I always believe that you should put yourself first. Life is like a game in survival mode — iyan ang lagi kong iniisip.

But in order to survive, you need a hand. And Jackson did not hesitate to give me help. He provided me shelter and food when I was all alone. He made me feel that it's okay to be vulnerable.

Kung hindi siguro kami nagkakilala ay baka matagal na akong bumagsak sa buhay. He taught me more than I can ever imagine.

Kagaya ng sinabi niya, tumawag nga siya sa akin pagdating niya sa China. I spent Christmas in Paris but I did not feel alone.

Madalas akong tinatawagan ni Daddy kahit ang layo ng time gap. Lalo na si Jackson. He even introduced me to his family virtually.

Halos araw-araw nga. Hindi naman ako na-iistorbo kasi hindi na ganoon katindi ang trabaho ko. At the end of December, I was just finalizing every papers and decisions.