Those Blurry Lines

Chapter 25

Chapter 25

Almost

I was playing with my nails. Nasa sasakyan na kami ni Maggie papunta sa temporary office namin.

Pagkatapos naming mag-usap ni Jackson ay bumalik na kami kaagad. Somehow, I started to sweat. Hindi ko naiintindihan kung ano itong nararamdaman ko.

All I ever think of is Mommy.

"Ma'am, okay ka lang?" tanong ni Maggie. Nasa shotgun seat siya at tinitingnan ako mula sa salamin.

"Can you make a U-turn?" sabi ko. "I need to go the hospital."

Bumagal ang sasakyan. Kasabay nito ang pagtingin ni Maggie sa 'kin.

"Are you okay?"

I nodded. "Yeah, I just want to visit someone."

They followed my instruction and made a U-turn. Habang papalapit kami sa ospital, mas nadagdagan ang kaba ko. What the hell am I doing?

Jackson's words were driving me crazy. I just have this sudden urge inside me. Na kapag hindi ko ito matuldukan, hindi ako mapapakali.

Nahinto ako sa tapat ng pinto ng kwarto ni Mommy. From the glass, I can see that she's alone. Wala ba siyang watcher? Bakit siya hinayaan mag-isa lang?

I sighed and clenched my fists. Rinig na rinig ko ang kumakabog kong puso. I think I'm going crazy.

Tumalikod ako at naglakad na papalayo kaso nahinto ako nang marinig ang boses ni Jackson sa utak ko.

"Just try to talk to her and everything will be alright."

Mababaliw na yata ako. Pati mga ngiti niya, nakikita ko na sa utak ko. I frustratingly exhaled and went back to my place.

With all the gathered strength, I slowly twisted the door knob and softly pushed the door. Mommy was already looking at me with wide eyes went I entered the room.

"L-Lois..." her voice sounded like a whisper.

I cleared my voice and closed the door behind me. I stood in front of her bed, nervous and slightly shaking.

Nang magtama ang mga mata namin, kaagad bumalik lahat ng mga alaala. It's all coming back to me like it just happened yesterday.

I clenched my fist tighter. She was already in tears. Naaawa ako sa kanya. With all the apparatuses, she looked so weak.

"Ang laki mo na," she said. "You... you became so matured now."

I took a deep breath. "Yeah."

"Nakita kita sa news. How's Paris? Kamusta ka na?"

Nagkunot-noo ako para pigilan ang mga nararamdaman ko. She sounded so gentle and soft. Ibang-iba sa kung paano niya ako kausapin noon.

But what I hate the most is that it sounded like a melody to me. I should be hating her. I should not feel like this.

Pero umupo ako sa may stall na nasa tabi ng kama niya. I placed my Hermes bag on my lap and looked at her.

"Just try to talk to her and everything will be alright," Jackson's voice went inside my head.

Yumuko ako. "I did not have a bachelor's degree. Nung nahinto ako, hindi na ulit ako nagpatuloy pa... But I finished fashion school for two years in Paris." Tumingin ako sa kanya. "Dad sponsored me."

Malumanay siyang ngumiti. "Sinabi niya na sa 'kin, Lois. He told me that you went to him the day you ran away."

Bumibigat ang pakiramdam ko kaya yumuko ulit ako.