look at me | wroetoshaw

Chapter 14

you had a happy selfish chapter so ofc i had to balance it out w this .....i am so sorry this is the first time ive properly sobbed writing a chapter (ps song is linked ill lyk when to listen to it)

HARRY

"Who the fuck is knocking at your door?" I asked, in a low voice. I felt like I was being ambushed, I didn't know what was going on and suddenly I had a very bad idea about all of this. 

Before I could even fit another word in, she stalked over to the door, opening it and allowing me to see who was on the other side. Just as I thought things couldn't get worse for me, they did. 

Standing outside of the door, was Simon and Talia, and they looked equally as confused. 

"Harry? Is that you?" Simon asked, looking at me and then back at Talia again, who shrugged as if to say 'I have no idea either'. 

"Oh!" Katie piped up, smiling wickedly back at me. "Yeah, he's here. We dated for four years back in Guernsey, he was actually just paying me a visit, weren't you?" She said, and to a normal person it would sound sweet and innocent, but to me, I knew that tone of voice. She knew exactly what she was doing. 

I watched as Talia's mouth widened into an O shape, and I caught her looking over at Simon who just looked stunned. 

"No - that's not what happened, I'm here because-" I started, but stopped as Simon started walking up to me.

"What did she just say? What does she mean you're paying your ex girlfriend a visit?" He asked in a low voice and through gritted teeth. 

"Simon, mate, I promise you this isn't what it looks like, please believe me, please let me ex-"

"You know who you need to explain to? Sophie. Does she even know you're here, huh? Or did you lie to her about that too?" He asked, and I could see that he was getting more and more angry by the second. This situation was getting worse, very quickly. 

"Simon! Get out of his face, and come back here," I hear Talia call out, and I'm silently thanking her. 

There was a brief moment I thought he was genuinely going to punch me in the face, but no. He retreats back to Talia. I'd crack a joke about him being whipped, but right now is definitely not the time. 

My gaze flickers back over to Katie, who stands amused in the corner. In reality, I should've known better than to come here, alone, to her apartment. It was stupid, and I honestly don't know what Sophie would do if she found out. 

"So what now?" Talia called out, breaking the awkward silence. No one dared to look at each other. 

"Now we go back to your house and you explain to my sister what's going on. Or I will. I'm not letting you go back to her without her knowing about this. I won't do that to her, or risk our relationship again. I know you're my mate, but she comes first," Simon announced, and it's right now I realise I'm fucked. 

"Simon - please, I promise I'll tell her but let me tell her on my own terms, without you there. I promise I'll do it today," I say finally, and they nod their heads. I already know that this is going to be insanely difficult. 

*start song now* 

SOPHIE

I hear the door being unlocked, he's definitely home a lot sooner than I expected him to be. But that's alright, I missed him nonetheless. 

"Herb! Daddy's home!" I said excitedly, and high pitched, but he doesn't react like he usually does. "Not in the mood today? That's alright. You stay here, Mummy will be right back," I smile, stroking our beloved pet and climbing off of the bed. 

I feel as if I'm hit by several unwelcome emotions as I enter the hallway and see him. Something feels...off. And by looking at his face, I can tell that something isn't right. I just can't place my finger on it. 

"Harry? What's wrong, are you alright?" I ask cautiously, not wanting to push too hard. 

He doesn't even meet my eyes as he talks. "Sophie, I think we need to talk. Maybe we should go into the living room," he says stiffly, and it's now that my heart starts to beat quicker, and I start overthinking the many possibilities of what could have happened. 

"Harry, hold up, I don't understand, why are you being so off with me -" I start, but he cuts me off. 

"Please just go into the living room, I promise I'll explain everything, then it's up to you."

Up to me? What the hell did he mean up to me? But nonetheless I follow him into our living room, watching him as he paces up and down. I get that he's on edge, but I have no idea the severity of the situation, of what he's not telling me. 

"Harry!" I snap, not wanting to wait any longer. "Harry, please, you're scaring me, please just tell me whatever's happened, I'm sure it's nothing too bad, and we can work it out and everything will be-"

"I didn't meet my friend today. I went to my ex girlfriend of four years' apartment, to-"

"You went where?" I asked, feeling the blood drain my face as I listened to the nonsense that was spewing out of his mouth. My brain had shut off after his initial words, I didn't care for the excuses he'd come up with. He knew I hated lying. He knew I got insecure over things like this. 

And quite frankly, as his fiancé I felt disrespected. 

"Sophie - please listen to me, I promise it didn't mean anything-"

"It didn't mean anything? Why didn't you just tell me, if it didn't mean anything?"

"Because I knew you'd get like this! Insecure!" He protested, and the way he smacked his hand over his mouth straight after indicated he knew what he said was outrageous. 

I felt numb. "I don't know if you're aware, but I get insecure about things because of a lack of communication. Or, you know, the whole Lucy drama a couple of years ago. You're supposed to trust me, and I'm supposed to trust you, Harry. That's how this whole thing works!"

"Sophie, I'm so sorry - I didn't mean for it to come out like that, I promise you it didn't - hey, wait! Where are you going?"

"I'm going to pack a bag." I told him bluntly, heading straight for the bedroom. 

"Pack a bag - what, Sophie, no! Please just come back and talk this through, you're overthinking this and I understand why, I really do but I promise it's not like that, I love you and only you, I really do -"

"Save it. Please just save it for someone that cares." I spoke angrily, gathering up my essentials and shoving it into a small backpack. 

"Where are you even going to stay? Are you going to be safe? Sophie, please answer me!"

"I'm going to stay with someone. Please, just leave me alone to pack," I said exhaustedly. I heard him leave the room, and I finally allowed myself to cry. I slipped the ring off of my finger, tucking it away in my chest of drawers before wiping my face and giving Herb another kiss. 

"Mummy will be back soon. She just needs some time to think. Don't miss me too much, Herbie," I whispered, but he remained unbothered. 

I got out my phone, texting the one person I wanted to see right now. 

Is it alright if I stay with you for a while? 

Of course it is. Tell me when you're here x

Thankfully they agreed to let me stay with them, something I was grateful for. Swinging the backpack round on my shoulders and slipping into my shoes, I left the bedroom, managing to slip out of the apartment unnoticed by Harry. 

I couldn't believe this was happening. I was so disappointed in him, and I felt hurt by his lies. He knew how much I hated lying, and he knew I regarded it as a deal breaker. I had no idea what was going to happen, but I was scared.