Until I Met Him (Draco Malfoy) [DISCONTINUED]

Chapter 18

I couldn't get my conversation with Hermione out of my head. I wanted so badly to believe everything she was telling me...but i did that last time. And i got burned. The more i tried not to dwell on it, the more i thought about it. I wanted friends. I missed having someone to talk to. I missed everything i used to have with Charlotte. Simple stuff. Like getting to ask her what nail polish color to use or which boy to ask to the school dance. I just missed having a person. And for a long time Charlotte was my person at home and Hermione was my person at school, but then i lost Hermione and then i lost Charlotte. And after that i didn't really make it a point to make or keep friends.

I was deep in thought all night. I've never been good at deciphering my own feelings but i know that something inside of me wanted to believe that Hermione and I could be friends again. That she could be that little girl i met on the train my very first day. That i could trust her. But that's the shitty thing about this stupid world. You never know anything for sure. And that was awful and terrifying and could be your worst nightmare.

The next day i woke up early. That put me in a bad mood. I hated waking up early. I can never fall back asleep so i just decided to get up. I checked the clock and it said it was 4:57. I took a quick shower, putting a spell around the shower so it wasn't going to wake the other girls, and then got ready. Nothin crazy for today. Just a little bit of mascara and a light eyeliner wing. I added my favorite lip gloss and headed downstairs after half and hour of primping.

I brought a book with me and decided to sit by the fire and read. The fire isn't often lit at this time in the morning so someone else must have gone to bed late. I didn't think anything of it as i sat down and opened my book. I got through the first chapter and a half before i was interrupted. I didn't glance up when i heard someone come down the stairs of the boy's dormitory. I was so immersed in my book that i barely heard anything and i definitely didn't care enough to look up and see who the new person was. Until the seat beside me on the sofa became filled as someone sat down.

I looked up, only for a moment to see who was next to me, and i looked down so fast that it literally gave me whiplash.

Sitting next to me was the devil himself, Draco fucking Malfoy. Great. Just great.

I took a moment to decide whether i wanted to stay or go back to my room but i figured that going looked worse than staying. I kept my eyes on my book, not wanting to speak. But he decided that we were going to talk.

"Why didn't you tell me? I would've stopped." He said quietly. I glanced up at him and he almost looked sad. Like he felt bad about what happened. Did he think i regretted it? I didn't. It may not have been what i dreamed it would be but it was good and i was fine.

"What if i didn't want to stop?" I replied, equally as quiet. I kept my eyes down while he contemplated this.

"You should have told me." He answered.

"Why? It's not a big deal."

"But it should have been. That's not what it's supposed to be like." He said. I looked up and saw that his eyes were down and he just looked so regretful. I took his face in my hands and forced him to look at my eyes.

"I don't regret it. I wanted to. I would have told you if i didn't want to do something." I told him. I couldn't tell if he believed me or not but he didn't say anything else for a moment. I took my hands back and re-opened the book on my lap.

"Why are you up so early?" He said. I'm not dumb. I could tell that he was trying to make less awkward conversation but i played along anyway.

"Um, i don't know. I just woke up." I said. It wasn't a lie. I just kind of woke up. I knew it was probably due to stress and overthinking but he didn't need to know that much.

"What about you?"

"Couldn't sleep." He replied shortly. I nodded my head slightly and turned my head to the fire. We sat like that, in silence, for a few more minutes.

"Look i'm sorry i didn't tell you but i didn't care and i didn't think it mattered." I said turning to him. Our eyes connected and it was strange. His normally stormy grey eyes had an almost orange tint because of the fire. His whole face looked very defined in the warm light that felt so out of place in the dark common room. Because were under the lake, the room usually has a bluish-green tint, but in the darkness with the fire, the light was warm.

It was almost strange seeing him in warm reds and oranges when i was so used to seeing him in the cold greens and blues of Slytherin. I wonder what he would look like in the yellows of Hufflepuff or the red and gold of Gryffindor. He'd hate me for saying that.

"I'm not mad." He told me. Good cause he didn't really have a right to be. It's my body and my decision what to do with it, when and where i decide. I looked up at him and i could see the decision made in his eyes. And my thoughts were confirmed a moment later when his lips were on mine.

It wasn't like it was the other day. The other day his kiss was urgent and passionate. Like he needed it. Right now it was slower. More controlled. It was almost the difference between a date and a hookup. One if slower and more intimate and one is fast and dirty. I was good with either but it was more intimate right now, and i have to say, i liked it. Not that i didn't like the urgency and passion that came with the other one, but this was gentle and seemed genuine.

I knew i was reading too far into it, but in that moment i didn't care. I was kissing Draco and it was lighting me up inside.