[Clarity is clear to see]
Can I forgive my sins or shall I die in vain
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@ RUNNER UP ON THE FAST FOOD AWARDS
Everyone prays for grace, each sins we all make has it's own deception
Complications stuck i...
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Teenage fantasies
That's all I have been feeling all along, a certain boy fooled me further into a web of lies.
Xander
He really knows how much I can deceive people with each word that comes out of my mouth. The fact yesterday he left me shameless when he said those words left a scar within me to say I really agree on those terms after I ran away.
And my own thoughts never gave me the courage to return back for dinner and the rest of the evening.
So going back to my room was just too shameful to say I'm weak and I can't find my way to fight back even if I built a solid wall.
It's typical and pathetic that's the only reason Xander can be hard to swallow is the fact he keeps getting under my skin. Knowing every bit of truth within me, as I said before we were friends without the benefit of being friends when we always find each other along the coasts near a cliff quite far from home.
This kinda pisses me off every second.
Does it really have to always be about him? Mr right guy? More like arrogant and a fucking jerk.
They will always be those kind of people who are just a stupid piece of shit! After you told them your secrets and then get stabbed in the back.
When the sun goes down But the sky turns blue I've been staring in those eyes of you
Those words never end when I keep on writing it all over in the song , that I kept on working for the past four days.
"Fuck my life." I mumbled to myself, talking to myself from the silence in the early morning sitting on the couch holding my laptop in hand just when I got up on my feet.
Three more days and I'll be moving myself to Los Angeles.
I still wonder what the old man's punishment will be knowing him too well from my childhood years.
They always had to be consequences ,because it's shocking he gave me a penthouse to live in. His decisions that I'll be moved to another potential home wouldn't always be caring.
Funny that being alone in a house isn't so dreamy.
His words * this doesn't mean I'm cherishing my money for a roof under your head without dedication to my approval for worthiness*. The doesn't seem like a threat and I'm no chicken.
I stand up with frustration that I am always under pressure after all I am his only son. I'm supposed to stand up my father's legacy and for some reason I never wanted it in the first place especially when business can get dark.
I walk a distance to stop anonymously standing between the entrance space of the main door where the glass stairs were placed and living on my right where it was quiet.
I then walk slowly to the kitchen taking a glass coffee mug in a cabinet pouring water from the cold refrigerator.
6:00 am still hot for a morning ,feeling the need for a bike ride delighted to get the fresh breeze of air better than choking within my thoughts.
Surely remembering the old times back home where I would enjoy the warm mornings.
My laptop still on the couch taking it with my headphones running up the stairs still silent from Amanda's and Melissa's slumber.
Changing my sweatpants to shorts they were lime green standing out from my gray shirt.
I wasn't sure my old bicycle was still around but I'll take any that is available.
I walk back down stairs through the dining room then through the the long corridor that leads the same way to the second lounge, but this time I made a right turn past the open glassed wall from the indoor pool on my left.
I made another right as the glass door shows one of dad's Ferrari's in display to open to the garage.
The bicycles suppose to be on the other side passing quieting through each car until five bicycles were in display on the wall in a horizontal sequence.
They was a silver bicycle unchained unlike the others, it was simple and very plain.
Remotely with a touch of a button the garage opens riding out to the front gate opening it by code.
Freedom that's what I felt for a moment that's been gone for so long yet short.
The neighborhood is kinda familiar in my head riding on the empty streets wondering things well mostly life if my mother were alive
Watching her favorite shows and talk about the simple life we lived in .
My mind went blurry through the time that pass seeing the sun rise high
People out and spending their exhausting day with the sun.
I decided to go to the beach not really far where a seafood restaurant I use to go to sometimes on Saturdays with my dad.
I wanted a takeaway since I did not plan to sit alone. Luckily I had my lock so I chain my bicycle ,this place isn't fancy it's far to how other restaurants I've been to this was ordinary and legit my kind of my style
I can't wait to leave Florida and away from Xander.
Him smelling like soft sunflowers drove his scent to my madness.
"Jodie is that you " a voice of a innocence and sweetness chimes my ears turning around to see a grown girl not so chubby from the last time I saw her.
"Rachael " a tight hug came out of nowhere surprising yet pleasing "Damn girl! You sure can give quite a hug " Rachael giggles.
