What Are the Odds, Karma?

1

**So as I have mentioned before, this is mostly about Spencer and Lydia but Ronnie and Luce will make appearances too! Cut me slack because nursing school starts in January and I just started this book. Don't have a plot yet, so it'll be slow updates. I hope you enjoy!!**

**Lydia's POV**

I was in the room again, same as always, but this time was different. I didn't know how but I just had that feeling.

"Come here my dear," he beckoned to me as I held back a shiver. I knew not to disobey but I really wanted to just run and hide.

"Where's mom?" I asked the man who had been my father at one point but no more.

"She's doing her duties," he scoffed at me as I held back from shying away.

"I want my mom," I caved in from the fear and tried to hold back tears.

"Your mommy isn't going to save you," he taunted as I continued to walk slowly towards him.

I shot up gasping for air as the nightmare receded into the depths of my mind. This wasn't the first time nor would it be the last that I continued with these nightmares... They only got worse.

"Lydia," Spencer's voice spoke quietly in the dark as he switched on the lamp and sat up.

"Sorry," I murmured as he held me to his chest and smoothed my hair down.

"Don't be love, I understand," he soothed me. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"It's the same as always," I sighed heavily, my finger tracing along his chest.

He kissed my hair gently, "he's gone Lyd. He won't ever hurt you again."

"I know," I sighed and curled up against the man who had become my savior. I couldn't thank him enough for what he had done to keep Lucinda safe and now my mom and I.

But there still was the factor of someone else coming to take us back. My mom had been a prize to my father and when my father died... It was like winning the lottery for all the men who had desired her. I would know.

"I'll be back," I kissed him softly and got up to go get air.

I knew Lucy had the nightmares too, she just never admitted it to me. We hadn't talked much about it once we had met, and a year later we still weren't discussing it. My mom had them too... But she never spoke about hers.

Opening the door to our small house, I stepped outside into the cool air and took a shaky breath. I was safe, no one could hurt me. Spencer would make sure of that.

So then why did I get the feeling that I wasn't?

'It's mental Lydia,' my mind reminded me as I wrapped my arms around me tightly.

Peering into the darkness I glanced at the trees that surrounded our house and saw nothing as usual. I knew by now...

"Lyd," Spencer's voice cut through the night as I felt him wrap his arms around me.

"Sorry," I sighed and leaned into him.

"It's okay," his lips pressed into my hair again, "you're safe my love. I'll tell you as many times as you need to hear it."

"I love you," I leaned my head back to kiss his jaw.

He said nothing, probably surprised that I had said I loved him. It was rare for me to admit my feelings towards him, one could understand why.

"I love you too Lydia," he murmured gently and brought me back into the house, "come back to bed with me?"

"Always," I grabbed his hand as he led me back to our bedroom.

Once I slid under the covers, he pulled me close to his chest as I tried to fall back asleep. He would probably be asleep before I ever got the nerve to try again... The memories were too much.

"You're safe," he murmured one last time against my skin as I nodded.

When would he ever get it? I was never going to be safe, regardless of what his job had done for me... I was never safe.

I vowed to talk to Veronica or Lucy tomorrow and ask their opinion. Things had to get better for me, I didn't want pity from everyone and I sure as hell didn't need to be a charity case. My boyfriend already did that enough it seemed.

Once my eyelids closed there I was again back within the nightmare. I had been nine at the time when it happened... I guess it was a miracle that I even was dating a man after everything that had happened to me.

"Good girl," he murmured and brushed my hair out of my eyes. "You're as beautiful as your mother," he continued to eye me greedily as I tried not to shiver. Giving into his power would only harm me...

I bit my tongue to keep from saying anything as I knew it would only result in a lashing or worse... But I would've preferred the lashing at this point over the internal pain...

"So beautiful..." He continued as I felt the hands begin to glide along my tiny frame.

I willed my mind to get me out of the nightmare before I shot up again. I already kept Spencer up enough as it was and every time I did it made me even more guilty.

Opening my eyes I felt the tears stream down as I pulled away from Spencer's grasp and went to the couch. It was typical for me to sleep somewhere else... And I knew it hurt him to see me do this, but his touch made me shy away more than I wanted to admit.

"Last time," I whispered to myself as I pulled the afghan over me and curled up on the leather couch. I didn't know how much longer I could continue to do this.

**Sad beginning I know, but it gives you insight into how Lydia's life was as well... There will be a lot of flashback/nightmares hence the italics. If it bothers you you can skip over them... But it's something I can relate to in more ways than one so I'm putting it in the story. Other than that, who's excited that this story is finally started!! Suggestions are welcome because like I said I do not have a plot for this one yet.**