What Are the Odds, Karma?

28

**Luce's POV**

I never knew that Spencer was capable of living in the fear that my family had endured for so long until tonight. Time had slowed down for me and the scene kept replaying in my head that if I hadn't gotten to them in time... Lydia wouldn't be here.

'Don't think about that, he's safe. She's safe.'

At some point I heard Lydia get out of bed and move to go back to him. I wasn't going to stop her this time, I knew the state he had been in and could tell he was going to be more cautious. This wouldn't happen again, at least for tonight.

Veronica was sleeping beside me as I tried to do the same. Everything was running through my mind and again the question came up of whether we were truly safe or not. Perhaps we would be if Spencer wasn't working... but part of me didn't believe that either.

Things had definitely been put into perspective for me once more seeing that even the strongest people are capable of being broken. Between Jack and Spencer, I never knew it was possible for either of them to be put in the situations they had endured. Sure there were repercussions with every job just not as severe as the one that they did.

I shivered again at knowing that my best friend was in pretty bad shape. He would get through it like I had, but I was still scared for him. This was a side I had never seen before, and probably something I wouldn't ever see again.

Sliding my hands around Veronica, I brought my face closer to her neck and just inhaled. She was my saving grace through this whole ordeal. I don't know why she kept me around after everything I put her through but I was and still am eternally grateful.

"We'll be home soon." I whispered and closed my eyes, praying that this time we would all get home in one piece.

**Spencer**

Lydia's breathing had lulled me to sleep for a short while. My arms were wrapped around her as I didn't want to move for the fear that she would leave. She had already reassured me she would stay the night as long as it didn't happen again. To be honest, I was scared it would. I didn't think I was capable of ever laying hands on her and yet I didn't even know what was happening until Luce yelled.

This woman was too good to me if she was allowing me to try again at the moment. But I also knew that she could relate and this was how it felt when reliving her night terrors on a daily basis. I wanted to be strong for her sake because I could only imagine how much this terrified her to see me this way, hell it terrified me and everyone else... but I couldn't. No matter how much I wanted to brush off the terror, everything wouldn't leave the forefront of my mind. Closing my eyes only helped so much before it all came back. No wonder people don't like to sleep after traumatic events...

Granted this job in general had given me this sort of experience in the beginning when I first started working. After time it died down though with the anxiety as I knew that I was doing something right and saving these people. Yes the missions that didn't work out would haunt me for awhile, but I knew I had done the best I could. Now I was just in a whole new mindset and had to convince myself that no one was going to come after me. Lydia's touch was not supposed to scare me, but it did. I can only imagine how she felt when I first kissed her after everything. Now more than ever I could completely understand everything her and her family went through.

She shifted in her sleep and rested her head on my chest while sighing. I knew this was a relief for her to know I was back with her. She was trying to stay strong and comfort me in the best way she could, which is more than I could ever ask for.

The one thing I did know for now was that I would not be going back to work for a few months. I would need time to heal and just focus on her and my family. This wasn't something I wanted to do in the fact that I needed to save more people, but I also knew that there was no way I was capable of doing it without a flashback setting me off.