Dean X Reader Imagines 2

Breakdown (Dean X Reader)

The first time I worked with the Winchesters was five years ago. Dean and I clicked from the very first second but we didn't want to admit it until the third year. So for the last two and a half years we've been together and it's been amazing. We usually work on different cases because when we work together most of the times we end up fighting. He is stubborn and I am too so we don't work well together. However, everything else we do together is perfect.

Dean downloaded a new movie for tonight and asked me if I wanted to join him. I said yes, because usually I love movie night in The Dean cave. I don't even care about what movie are we watching, I just love all the cuddles and there have been many times that I fell asleep in his arms. We don't get many moments of quiet like this and we both try to enjoy most of it.

But today, it was difference. I wasn't in the best mood. So I sat quietly in the other corner of the couch and stared at the TV but without really paying attention to the movie. The truth is that I'm exhausted. I'm tired of life, I'm tired of hunting. I just don't find a reason to hunt anymore. Dean and Sam can handle everything just fine. They don't need me. Dean doesn't need me. And because of that I'm not sure if I have a reason to get up every morning. No one needs me anymore. I'm not important. I don't matter.

"(Y/N)?" Dean asks taking my attention away from my thoughts
"Yes?" I ask trying to act normal
"Are you ok?" he asks
"Yes, I'm fine" I say and I look back at the TV. Dean turns it off and comes closer to me
"Baby, tell me what's wrong?" he asks softly rubbing my back
"Nothing is wrong. I'm fine. Don't worry" I say and I peck his lips softly. "I'm gonna go to bed. You enjoy your movie" I say and I stand up.

But he takes my hand and stops me. "You can tell me everything, you know that, right?" he asks
"Yes Dean. Can I go now?" I ask getting a bit pissed
"(Y/N)..." he says
"Look, I just want to go to sleep" I say but he doesn't let me go. He drags me closer to him but I try to fight him off. "Let me go, Dean" I say trying to push him off and leave. But he ignores me and manages to hug me. I tried to pull away but he wouldn't let me go.

The familiar warmth of his body and his scent made me even more emotional. Soon tears started making there way down my cheeks. I started crying hard to the point that my legs started to give up. Dean felt that and started to kneel down with me still holding me as tight as he could. He didn't say anything. He let me cry all my feelings out, in his arms and he was just sitting there rubbing my back.

When I started to calm down, he didn't pull away. His hold of me didn't loosen for a second. "Do you want to go to bed?" he asks softly. I just nod my head against his chest. He picks me up and carries me to bed. He lays down with me and holds me close to him.
"Thank you" I whisper as another sob came out of my mouth
"Anytime sweetheart" he says and kisses my head. I felt horrible for doing this to him. He doesn't deserve a weak ass like me.
____________

I wake up with a loud scream that soon turned into new tears. Dean jumped up immediately probably because I scared the crap out of him. "Hey, hey, it's ok" he says as he hugs me "It was just a nightmare" he whispers. I could hear his heart racing which meant that I did scare him.
"It was so real. I'm sorry" I say
"It's ok, you don't need to apologize" he says. "I'm here. No one is gonna hurt you" he says.

The next morning, after Dean made sure that I'm ok, he went to make us breakfast. But I felt so bad for everything that happened last night. He doesn't need one more problem on his shoulders, another bargain. He shouldn't be taking care of me. He is a hero and I'm just slowing him down. Right now, he should be on his way to Detroit for a case but instead he passed it on to another hunter so he can stay here and take care of me. There are other people that need him more than I do.

I get up from the bed and I pack my bag quickly. I left a note on the bed 'I need to go. I'm sorry' and left the bunker as quiet as possible. I didn't want questions or someone trying to stop me. I just need to go and I know it. I stole the first car I saw and started driving, without really knowing where I'm going. About five minutes later Dean started calling me but I just ignored it.

Eventually after five hours on the road, I checked in in a motel making sure that I parked the stolen car away from it. At this point I had missed calls from Dean, Sam, Cas, Jody, Donna and even Jack. The truth is that I had no intention of returning any of them, I just wanted to stay alone. But I had also several texts from Dean mostly that said to just tell him if I'm ok and he won't call me again.

So I call him and he answers immediately. "(Y/N)? Where are you? What happened? Are you ok?" he asks quickly
"I'm ok Dean. I'm ok, physically at least. I just need some time" I say and a sob escapes my lips at the end. "Please don't try to track the call. I need some time to myself. Please" I say crying silently
"Ok, ok. You take as much time as you need. But know that if you need me, call and I'll be with you in a second" he says
"I know. Thank you. I love you" I say
"I love you too" he says and I hung up because I could feel the breakdown coming. I shut off my phone and I collapse on the bed.
_____________

A week pasted, but I'm not doing any better. I just find no reason to get up from the bed anymore. So I just lay there thinking of how screwed up my life is and crying. I take my phone from the nightstand and I turn it on. The only thing there was a voicemail from Dean, from five days ago. I take a deep breath and I play it.

"Hi (Y/N), it's Dean. Since our last call, I told everyone to stop calling you so you can take the time you need. I hope you are doing better. Listen, I know that you don't want to talk right now and that's ok because I just need you to listen to me, please. I need you to know that you're an absolutely amazing and wonderful person. I know that what your feeling right now is not good but just know that you are one very important person to me. And even if you feel like no-one loves you or cares about you... that's not true. There are so many people that love you and care about you. Sam, Cas, Jack, Jody, Donna and especially me, we all love you. And I know that when you get through this, you're gonna notice how many people are here for you. So take the time you need to heal. Just know that when you're done, we are all gonna be here waiting for you. I love you very very much (Y/N) and I miss you. I hope to see you soon".

I wipe my tears and I call him. But my call went straight to voicemail. "Hi Dean. I heard your message and I wanted to say thank you. I'm sure that you've already traced my phone and you probably send Cas to check on me a bunch of times in secret, so next time can you come instead of him? Please?" I say and I hung up because I was getting emotional again.

A couple of hours later there was a knock on my door. I open it and I see Dean standard there. "I'm so sorry" I say and I hug him
"You have nothing to apologize for" he says hugging me back. He comes inside and closes the door behind him.
"No, Dean, you already have so much to deal with and I'm just another problem to you" I say
"No, don't ever say that again. You are the most amazing person I've ever met" he says rubbing my cheek.
"I'm really not" I say as another tears rolls down my cheek
"Yes, you are" he says looking at me in the eyes. "You are beautiful" he says
"Now I know that you're lying" I say breaking the eye contact."I feel like I'm barely holding on anymore Dean. I'm just so freaking tired" I say desperate.

"Like you have helped me multiple times in the past deal with all that crap I carry on my shoulders, it's my turn to help you. And I'm morw than ok with that because everyone has bad moments. And I'm so happy that you called me to help you. You are going to get through this I know that, but right now you just need to keep grinding for a bit more. You got this, ok?" he says softly looking me in the eyes
"Thank you" I say
"Anytime babygirl" he says and kisses me.

He hugs me "I'm more than willing to get a break from hunting so I can be here with you. And like you knew that I had Cas checking in on you, because I know that you are feeling guilty about me stepping back and I don't want you to. Let's forget about hunting for a bit, ok?" he asks and I nod. "You got this baby. Everything is gonna be ok" he says and kisses me.
"You promise?" I ask scared
"I promise. I am sure that not only you'll get through this, but you'll come back even stronger" he says holding me close to him.

"How did I get so lucky with you?" I ask
"You really didn't" he says and I chuckle through my tears. "Gosh... I missed your smile and the sound of your laugh so much. It still gives me butterflies in my stomach and heart. I love you so much" he says and kisses me
"I love you too" I say holding him as tight as I can.