Fred Weasley Imagines

Contemplation - pt. 1

WARNING: Angst, angst and a lot of angst. 

Xx

"No! Get off me! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND! YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" you continued to yell at him, forcing yourself out of his grip.

"Calm down."

"I WON'T CALM DOWN BECAUSE YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND!" you continued to yell, finally getting out of his grip and standing in front of him. "You don't understand! Noone does! Not my family, not the teachers, not even you! It's a torture! A torture and I can't get out of it! I'm exhausted! I'm exhausted of this, of everything. I can't sleep anymore and I can't eat. But I keep going and I keep fighting but it never gets easier. It keeps getting harder and harder and all I want to do is sleep. Take a rest for months and years but I can't! It's exhausting Fred and I just want to be put to rest."

"Don't say that! You have me. I am here for you." said Fred, grabbing your hands and pressing his lips on them. "You have me."

"You're the reason I'm still here Fred. You are. And I know, I know you would be here for me, but I can't. This is not where I want to be right now and I can't drag you down with me."

"No, what you don't understand is that I love you and I would do anything to make you stay. Please don't leave me. Please." he begged, his hands cupping your cheeks while his eyes starting to tear up.

"That's the point Fred. You would do anything for me." you simpered and brushed away the falling tear from his cheek. "But what I ask is something I don't want you to do. Not even a slightest bit. The point is Fred, I love you too and I am doing this for you."

"Doing what? Leaving me? Because I won't let you. Not now and not in a million years. We'll go through this together and I am going to be on the every step of the way. Okay?"

"Okay."

But it wasn't okay. Not to you at least. You loved your boyfriend, you really did. His charming and funny personality was everything a girl would want on a guy. But you needed to leave. You didn't feel like yourself anymore. Yes, it's a stupid excuse, leaving because you weren't doing great in school. But the pressure was so big, you felt your head expload. Every day you forced yourself to go that class only to get another T. It was terrible. And then when you wanted to fix it, there wasn't a thing you missed in the book to learn, but you kept getting T's. It's like your brain blocked itself from remembering everything you've learned. You couldn't. The problems in school, the problems at home and with everything else. It was too much. Way too much for you and you were exhausted. Exhausted of not getting the grades you deserve. And the fact that you haven't draw anything in 4 months. That's not you. Or written, or crafted or played your instrument. Everything started slowly fading away. You were lost. You kept looking around for something. Something. Just something and you weren't finding it here. You needed to leave.

Watching your boyfriend sleeping was one of the most comforting and happiest thing you ever saw. His eyes shut, hands underneath his head and curled up in the sheets. But now, now it made you sad, it made your heart break because as much as you loved him, you couldn't leave him.

'What am I doing? I'm leaving him. Him. I can't do that.' you thought to yourself, holding your hands together and stepping out of the dorm for a moment. 'But I need to go. I need to find myself.'

You were torn. Torn between a man you love and your dreams. But what if you wanted your man in your dreams? What if you wanted him to be a part of that? But then again he has his own dreams to think about. He said he wants to open a shop.

"(Y/n)?" spoke the voice from behind you.

You quickly turned around, seeing the sleepy boy with ginger hair, rubbing his tired eyes. He looked over you and at the small bag at your feet.

"Wait..." he puzzled for a second and looked at you with widen eyes. "Are you going away?"

"Ron, please keep it down. "

"Are you? Does Fred know? Are you leaving him?" he attacked and walked closer to you.

"Ron. Please keep it down." you begged him, walking closer and putting your hands on his shoulders. "Please, Ron. I'm sorry."

"So you are leaving him. You can't." he glared at you, his arms crossed over his chest.

"Ron-"

"No! You won't leave him!" he started shouting, walking over to Freds door and started to knock.

"Ron shut it!" you yelled in a whisper, running to pull him away from the door.

"Fred! Wake up!"

"Ronald I swear to God I will-" you bellowed but was interrupted by another red head, standing in front of you. His hair messy, his eyes tired. "Fred." you said quietly as you saw him rubbing his eyes at you.

"Hey darling. What's going on? Why aren't you in bed? " he yawned tiredly, stretching his arms.

"She's leaving." scolded Ron and crossed his arms again.

"Leaving?" quivered Fred and looked at you, who wore a guilty expression. Noticing the small bags at your feet, he straightened up immediately. "I thought we talked about this."

"We did." you replied quietly, trying to avoid his gaze.

"What happened? Were you just about to leave anyway? I told you if you go, I'll go with you."

"Fred, you can't go with me!" you suddenly snapped. "I need to go. Without you. It's for the best."

"For the best." scoffed Fred and took a step back. "Alright then. Go. I won't stop you. If it's more important than me than go. "

"Fred, I didn't say tha-"

"GO!" he shouted and pointed his index finger to the stairs.

You eyes were lost. They were confused. He never yelled at you like that but if that's what he wants then fine. "Goodbye, Fred."