home, kim jungwoo

19

because you could shout "i love you" thousands of times and I would still not believe it.

DESPERATION TO BE NEAR EACH OTHER

It was the first time, the first moments where the bond was working against them. The uncomfortable pulling from the missing of their partner reeked inside of them.

She was becoming antsy as her feet tapped rapidly on the concrete, sitting on one of the many benches outside the hospital. The coolness of the air pricked her exposed skin on her neck making her shiver.

Those pricks dulled her senses, letting her mind float away into the past. She combed through the blissful memories but when one burned at her mind her shoulders slumped.

"Okay, kids let's clap for all our parents who told us about their jobs." The kids clapped as the parents smiled.

Akina was sitting in the back, her side of her face on her arm on the desk as she traced nothingness on the cool desk. She didn't pay much attention to the enthusiastic parents who went through speeches about their jobs.

No, instead she kept her mind to her parents, who should've been up there. She wanted that the most at her age but their ghosts would instead just have to watch up from above.

When the bell rang the giddy kids made their ways as quickly as possible to the lunchroom. Unlike them, her feet had to drag herself out of the classroom and into the cafeteria.

She sat alone. She was alone. The ten-year-old had a hard time even after three years since her parent's death. Her bond with them was too strong to just brush by. She couldn't forget that night.

From the permanent burns on her shoulders that luckily faded to the inhaler the girl was given after that night, she just couldn't forget it.

It sent her into a solitary world in her head where she made it safe. It was a place where the demons of that night nor the real world monsters couldn't hurt her.

But that didn't mean they weren't there. 'Scarface', 'freak', and even the pity in adults phrasing 'poor little girl' gnawed at her. So she kept herself isolated from everyone, but that made her miss the people who strolled by with genuine intentions.

She was just a kid who didn't want to feel pain anymore.

Now, she pushed herself out of the dread of her childhood. She didn't want to think like that. She didn't want to let those voices influence her.

But she could still feel the flames caressing her shoulders and the pain from her past. Which distracts her from noticing throughout her thinking that she had created hangnails from picking at her skin.

Taking a breath she scanned the parking lot hoping to see the car she so desperately awaits but none of them looked of resemblance.

On the queue, her phone rang in her tan overcoat. Picking it up she saw the name that she was waiting for. Clicking to answer she put it up to her ear. His voice sounded further away as he talked urgently.

"Are you okay?"

She hummed into the phone playing with one of the Chestnut buttons on her jacket. "I'm so sorry that I'm coming late. Some things came up but I'll be there soon. Are you sure you're okay?"

His voice was soft even though the urgency laced his words. As her ears listened, the darkness in her mind faded away although the pull of the soulmate bond strengthened.

"It's okay Jungwoo, I'm fine, I mean the soulmate bond is acting weird but it's nothing I can't handle," She breathed out as the light posts glowed over her.

"It is a weird feeling... I'm pulling in the lot." He sounded relieved as she noticed his familiar car pulled up to the entrance. Standing up she ended the call and in a swift motion picked up her bag.

Strolling over she felt desperation fill her body as she got closer to his car. The bond was dire and needy.

Ready to open the car door she walked a little faster until she noticed his blonde head of hair pop out from the other side.

He made his way over to the passenger side and waited for her arrival. She felt her heart pump faster and she quickened her steps, stopping once she was in front of him.

Both of them were on fire; skin blazing as the two glowed radiantly. The bond was recovering; soaking in their connection as they now were close enough to each other.

From the dramatics or her heart beating fast, she inhaled a deep breath, calming herself. Finally catching his gaze as the blazing inside subsided she took in his messy manner.

The collar of his white button-up was loose as his black long coat sat on top of it. His hair was not parted like earlier, now his bangs covered his forehead and were more frizzy than before.

Although the tiredness in his eyes he kept a kind smile on his mouth which puffed his cheeks out adorably.

Her heart thumped heavily.

Their eye contact broke as he turned his body to open the car door for her. Sliding in she put on her seatbelt as he walked to the other side and did the same.

The car was humming as he put it in drive and drove them home.

Arriving at his apartment, she unbuckled quickly as sleep was calling her name. But before opening the door she notices Jungwoo leaning his head against the headrest with his eyes closed.

A sigh barely left his mouth as his breathing was the only noise in the car. "Are you okay?" She asked as something felt wrong.

His head turned to her as his eyes lazily opened, "Just tired. I just know that tomorrow will be just like today." He answered.

She didn't understand the last part but she had no time to ask as he got out of the car which she followed.

As they walked close to each other to his door she couldn't push away the words that echoed in her head. Those monsters that pushed insecurities kept whispering.

She had doubts about his statement and although she had his smile etched into her head from earlier it wasn't strong enough to push those doubts away.

"Does he hate picking me up? Is the bond making him hate me?"

Those naive thoughts swarmed, and it didn't take much for them too. She was insecure still, it hadn't left.

Because in the end, she is still that broken isolated kid who was never good at pushing away the monsters.