home, kim jungwoo

21

my monsters, they eat me alive from the inside. I'm sorry they made me like this.

DENIAL

"So, this is what your boyfriend's place looks like," Jihoon said peering inside. "He's not my boyfriend," She blurted out, pushing him out of the doorframe, attempting to obscure his view of the inside of the apartment.

"Ah, yes, I meant soulmate... you two are practically dating," Jihoon responded, leading the way to the elevator, pressing the arrow, sending it to their floor.

"I mean, we're not," She rationalized while entering the opening doors of the elevator, "We're only together because we're soulmates."

Jihoon scoffed at her words, emphasizing his thoughts, "Maybe technically, but when you talk about him, your eyes light up, and that's love, not the bond." He waited for her response, but Akina's face was warming up, as remnants of earlier popped into her head from his words.

"See! That's not the magic of the bond, you like him!" He was excited, jumping softly, clapping his hands from the revelation.

They walked out of the elevator, into the main hall of the complex, being greeted by the sun through the windows.

"I don't know Jihoon, I don't know what those feelings mean━" she continued as the doors opened; the cool air greeted them, "━and that doesn't automatically mean he has any feelings for me."

Her naiveness, from not knowing enough, shined through at that moment. Even though the two have had multiple moments, she would be the one to deny them, discarding and telling herself that those all necessary to the soulmate bond.

She imagines in her complex mind that Jungwoo has no feelings for her, but instead, is simply trying to stay unaffected from the negative side effects of the soulmate bond.

She was so wrong though.

Another scoff from the playful giant of Jihoon as they got into the car, ignited once the two were ready, "You really think he doesn't, don't you?" He asked while pulling out of the complex.

She hummed in agreement, gazing out the window, thinking of all their moments, and equated them to the technicalities of them being soulmates.

The two went quiet for a moment, Jihoon thinking of what he wanted to say to her, hoping that it could open her eyes.

"You know, I've heard and seen a lot of soulmates in life, and the ones that show up to your work unannounced to eat lunch are normally the ones that have developed feelings."

His words, although convincing, still couldn't defeat that voice in her head, but she responded, opening up to Jihoon. "I guess, but I've always been alone, why would he want someone like that? Somehow who doesn't know how to read between the lines or understand her own feelings, I wouldn't want to be with someone like me, I have too much baggage, too many shadows."

There it was, the main insecurity that bubbled inside of her, the persuasive thought, that in fact, Akina was not good enough. I mean how could she be? Everyone leaves her in the end.

Akina couldn't see it, as her eyes stayed trained on the world that was moving past her in the window, but Jihoon's mouth dropped, hearing the vulnerability that was new to him.

"Akina, you know," he breathed out, worried that his next words would hurt his friend; instead of helping her, "Life isn't meant for you to be alone, you deserve a person to go to when you need it."

"You deserve a lifelong home. No matter how much baggage you have."

His words hit her, a ton of bricks called 'reality' knocking her in the face, causing the girl to inhale deeply, leaning against the headrest as Jihoon reached her apartment complex.

He pulled up to the front, stopping the car waiting for her to get out, but Akina's mind was too far away to even notice.

But a hand gripping her shoulder and delicate words brought her back to her senses, "Akina, we're here."

She glanced over at Jihoon; the male who indeed was just a puppy. His eyes, which were big and round were staring at her calmly, reassuring.

"Oh," she mumbled, slinging her purse over her shoulder, opening the car door, the cool air embracing her. "Hey, Akina, remember what I said, okay?"

His voice came out as a question, but she hoped that she would actually take in the words that laced his tone as well. She nodded, waving a 'good-bye' before the car drove off after she walked up the stairs of her apartment.

Although a few shaky attempts with the keys, she got inside, opening the blue door that was the beginning of her place, being comforted by the familiar smell.

The light cream interior, which truthfully didn't have many decorations kept the place clean-looking, even if it wasn't.

Her main goal was to quickly feed Sora, giving her love before she would leave, and drive to work in her car, which she hadn't done in so long.

But frankly, the weight that remained on her chest, the comforting words that were spoken to her -for her- left a heart-wrenching but fuzzy feeling, springing water to her eyes.

Almost like Sora knew, she came purring and meowing at her owner, who at the moment was trying to breathe away the tears, not wanting to start the waterworks this early in the morning.

She strolled in between Akina's legs, nudging her head on them, which led to her rolling on her backside.

The sight of Sora let an escaped laugh out of her mouth, the movement letting one tear cascade her face.

She leaned down, petting Sora lovingly, a bittersweet smile pulling at her lips with glassy eyes accompanying. "Sora, you always know how to make me feel better," She admitted which Sora purred harmoniously in response.

"Maybe, we'll ask Woo━," She stopped in the sentence, pausing at the nickname that rolled of her tongue effortlessly, "━Jungwoo if you could move in too." Her words made Sora meow happily before standing up, striding over to the kennel, that Akina always kept out for her.

"Oh, you actually want to?" She questioned, Sora rubbing herself against the kennel. She smiled at Sora whose eyes somehow communicated her answer.

She wanted to stay, but as time was running out before her shift, she got up, refilling her bowls quickly before grabbing her keys, then locking her apartment.

She trudged down the steps, walking out into the parking lot, seeing her car, which was painted white; the sun making it sparkle, "My baby, oh, I have missed you."

She started it, driving away, not noticing the hooded figure that walked up the stairs, and eventually unlocking her apartment.

This is definitely the cleanest chapter I have ever written!
I hope my description of her insecurities is understandable, I hope all her scars are making sense as to how her character developed.
Anyway hoped you enjoyed it, don't forget to vote, and stay safe!