30 day fluff challenge | Ryden

Getting lost somewhere

TW// Anxiety, panic attacks, homophobia.

*Brendon's POV* (2k+ words)
       

Today is the day!

We're going on a road trip from Las Vegas to Salt Lake City, all the swimming team because we won the nationals!

I know it's not a big deal, Salt Lake City it's like around the corner. And it's my swimming team I'm coming with, and sometimes that isn't the best idea ever.

Besides for the fact that my beautiful boyfriend is in the team with me. That's exactly the reason why I'm super excited.

This is gonna be our first trip together since we started dating, that being a little over half a year now.

"Bren, we're running late, they're gonna leave without us, everything's gonna go wrong, what if-." Ryan starts rambling things, pacing back and forth in my room at a quickly pace, and he's shaking a little.

He deals with anxiety and has panic attacks once a while. It's kind of normal for him to overthink things and he always pictures the worst of scenarios.

I might not understand perfectly why he always thinks like that, but I'm not questioning him. I'm here if he needs me, whatever and whenever he needs it.

I lead my way towards him, stop him in his tracks. Taking a hold of his hands with mine and I squeeze tight, looking at him in the eyes and speaking with the softest voice, smiling reassuringly, "Babe, we're not gonna be late, everything's ready...C'mon let's go now."

"But what if-?" Ryan starts saying, but I cut him off with a gentle kiss on the lips, wrapping my arms around him tightly. He returns both of the gestures, kissing back shyly, and the hug as tight as he can.

"Ry, stop worrying. I'll be with you the whole time, everything's gonna be just fine. Trust me." He buries his head in the crook of my neck and sighs contentedly.

"Ok, ok. But promise me you'll stay with me the whole time, please." he mumbles against my neck and the sound of his voice it's a little muffled, but I can understand it fully.

I pull away from the hug, not wanting to, but I need him to look at me so he knows that I mean it, that I'm really gonna be there the whole time with him.

I lift his chin with a finger, "Babe, I promise, I'll stay by your side the entire time no matter what." This didn't mean to be only for the trip, it's for longer than that, for all times — I hope he gets the hint. "And now, if we don't wanna be late, we should get going, c'mon."

"Thanks Bren, really." Ryan says with a soft shy voice, looking at his feet.

I cup his cheeks with my hands and I peck his lips once more, he's smiling in the kiss and that's the best feeling ever. My stomach does that flip thing and I blush a dark red.

"You don't have to thank me, you know that." I hug him again —maybe attempting to hide the blush on my face... nah, it's because I love hugging my lovely boyfriend— before leaving my house to meet with the rest of the team.

{~\\ • 🥥 • //~}

We've been on the bus on our way for nearly two hours, and it's been pretty much the same.

I've been keeping Ryan's mind somewhere else, to avoid him for having crazy thoughts, and it's been working.

We're just talking, cuddling with each other on the back of the bus —that's exactly why I chose this seat, so we could be together and free from homophobe comments or disgusted looks. Here in the back, at nighttime, it's more easy to be cuddly with your pretty pretty boyfriend and not be bothered.