The Rabbit's Den

A New Beginning

Trixie still felt out of sorts since she woke up in the cold mountain stream with Kaleb. The building that they had found was in good shape. It defiantly was not the Den, the lack of running water and electricity didn't really bother her. The lack of privacy was a bit of an annoyance, the barrack style room was much like a large version of the infirmary. Their food situation wasn't ideal but with her and the guys hunting they could probably make it through the winter even with the births that would happen throughout it. She felt like she was growing apart from Ester, Petra and even worse Kaleb. She had always felt like she didn't belong, it didn't matter where she was, she always felt like the outsider.

Rhys and Ester seemed to have their own little club; they spent the majority of the time together. Weeks before she and Ester had been so close, or at least she thought they were. Maybe Trixie had just been using her, hadn't she? And Petra had changed ever since she lost the twins and discovered their deaths. Petra's once bubbly attitude had shifted to one that matched Yana's cynical behavior. It could be the fact that she was growing up, Petra was just a child when she and Trixie met. But the one that hurt the worst was Kaleb, and she couldn't blame him, he hadn't changed. Same old Kaleb, and his pretentious accent. She wasn't out of sorts from the death of Jacob, or the fact that she had been the one that had caused it. But she found it upsetting that it wasn't more satisfying.

Day after day she did her part, whether it was cleaning or cooking or repairing the building. Kaleb had been right about the gardening aspect; it was much too late in the season to do anything but clear out and turn up the soil. She didn't complain, she didn't lead, and she had become more serious over the time. The large vial of pink fluid haunted her nightmares; it sat peacefully in her bag hanging from her bed. Was WOLF still looking for her, looking for them? Ferals may not brave the mountain but WOLF could.

It took a whole day for Trixie and Rhys to tear up the vegetation and turn the soil in the large square plot beside the building. The use of hand tools exclusively was almost foreign to her. After putting away the tools Rhys went back into the building and she walked to the stream. She plunged her blistered and raw hands into the icy water. "Overwork yourself?" It was easy to recognize Kaleb's voice from behind her. She sighed, "There is no such thing as overwork Kaleb." He looked at her oddly from behind, she didn't even turn to him when he spoke to her. Sitting beside her, he watched as she soaked her red hands. "Are you okay?" Trixie turned to him, "No Kaleb, I'm so fucking far from okay." He looked at her concerned, "From the garden?" She shook her head as she stared at her hands, the water rippling over them was slightly mesmerizing. "Is it because you killed Dr. Mullens?"

She didn't know why it happened, or why Kaleb's innocent questioning infuriated her so fast, but she snapped. Hands still submerged she turned her head giving him an evil glare. "No Kaleb it's not the fucking garden, or blowing the Doc's brains out, or being captive twice or fucking science experiments. Not that any one of those things wouldn't fuck somebody up. Can I have just a couple days where I don't have to tell people how I feel or be okay?" Her tone was harsh and unforgiving and when she exploded on him, he flinched, drawing back from her. "Okay." He said meekly unsure of what to say next. Even with her blood still boiling she realized what she had just done by the hurt look on his face.

"Jesus, Kaleb, I'm sorry. I don't know why I lost it." She muttered now looking at her hands again. When he didn't say anything back, she turned and looked at him. Her face wasn't distorted in anger anymore, but his was still cautious. Never in all the years he had known her had she ever apologized that fast, come to think of it most of her apologies where half assed. "I've always felt out of place Kaleb." He nodded, "Milly always said that you did it to yourself." Her glare shut him up. "It's not like that. Even when I was little, I felt like it was all wrong, that I didn't belong and before you say it's because my whole family was black is wasn't. At the Den, in the City it doesn't matter who I'm with or where I am. I don't belong, I can feel it."